I admit it: I have been somewhat of a crabby bee-yotch recovering from this evil pneumonia. I have had pretty bad bouts of bronchitis before, but I don't think I've had pneumonia since I was a child -- and I woefully misjudged the recovery involved. I thought I would take my magic antibiotics and be back to my effervescent self. Ha, ha. Of all of the awfulness of pneumonia -- the ten days of fever, the nausea, the twelve pounds I lost (wait, that was the good part!), the headache, the horrific coughing -- the worst part has been the overwhelming fatigue. I am so damned tired every minute of every day, and it's just. not. going. away.
Well, strike that. I had this wonderful few days where my children slept well, and I felt rested, and then I spent a wonderful afternoon and evening with my former neighbor and her two kids (the Cleavers! How I've missed them!) ... and I just felt great. And then Petunia started getting up in the night, and then Dash started waking up at 5 am, which is 2 am PST, which I am still on... and, yeah. I got through a wonderful few days back in NJ, and now all I want to do is sleep. I get more tired in these Green Mountains anyway, as the air is so oxygen-rich that it takes my body some time to adjust under normal circumstances. Add in pneumonia, and the simple act of breathing seems like a physical feat worthy of a medal. Strike the exhaustion -- the worst part of this illness and recovery is the constant feeling of breathlessness. It's a horrible sensation, and it totally sucks -- that, and the looks I get from people who are convinced that I'm coughing swine flu into the air!
The good news is that the Guv is now on vacation; so, over the next few days, I'll get some good rest, and I'll start perking up again. We're even signed up for a tennis court tomorrow, though I confess that the thought of dressing in tennis clothes, driving down to the club, and wielding my sure-to-feel-like-a-thousand-pounds racket seems a bit daunting right now. But I'll do it, and why? Because I'm a mom. I don't have the luxury of taking a week off to just sleep. And even if I could, I've slept through enough of the past few weeks. What I really need has been apparent for quite some time: I need to transition Dash to sleeping in his own bed, in his own room. I need to make sure that both children know that waking me up in the night is unacceptable unless they're truly sick (and have proof of that) or the house is on fire -- and, even then, Daddy is less likely to cause them injury for a night awakening. As well, next school year, I need to stop over-volunteering and under-sleeping. And lastly, I need to get a good few bottles of wine, have a glass every night, and not worry so much about everything. This too shall pass, but not without my fair amount of bitching about it coupled with beating myself up. I am a mom after all, and it's all my fault. Now, where's that wine?!
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