I have a confession to make: I'm feeling a little crabby about this whole "Christmas season" thing. Perhaps it's the decorations that go on display in stores around Halloween -- or, in our neighbor's case, the very day after Halloween -- but I feel like it's been "the season" forever. Like, enough, already... isn't it January yet?
Compounding my "bah, humbug" mood is my four year-old Dash, who has never, ever believed in Santa Claus. He refuses to acknowledge Santa's existence, and, if we see one at a mall, you wouldn't believe what happens. The kid leers, jeers and sneers. Once, Santa motioned to Dash, indicating he was welcome to have a seat on his lap. Dash's response? "MAMA, RUN!" And he took off at a speed that's the envy of many a reindeer. The Guv finally got to see The Santa Reaction and was awestruck. Really, what kid doesn't want someone to bring him presents? And isn't Santa a "jolly old soul?"
Not to Dash. To Dash, he's "creepy and old." I tried to tell Dash that we have some creepy oldsters in our family, too, and he said, "that's different. They aren't strangers who try to come down my chimney and give me stuff. They're allowed to give me presents. Santa's not."
How do we argue with that?
So this year, Mom and Dad are giving gifts, and Santa is coming only for Petunia. He will have shipped her gifts priority mail since he's unwelcome near our chimney. Keeping up this ruse of "no Santa allowed near our house" is important because Dash hasn't slept well pretty much since the neighbors put their Christmas lights and decorations up the day after Halloween (yes, did I mention that date, November 1?). His sleeplessness has everything to do with knowing that the creepy old man in the red suit lurks about until Christmas. I'm pretty sure Dash'll be back to normal (well, as normal as Dash can be, anyway) on December 26.
In any event, I appreciate the e-mails from readers who enjoyed the first-ever Rox and Roll Holiday Gift Guides. I never finished the one for "stuff that's not stuff" and apologize for that; that'll be next year's gift guide theme all-around. And why didn't I finish it? Did I mention I haven't slept since November 1?
So happy holidays to you and yours, and I'm leaving you with a present from a friend -- the very talented Wendi Aarons, a lovely blogger with whom I had the privilege of hanging out a bit at BlogHer last summer. She wrote Tiger Woods' holiday letter for him, and it's just hysterical. Read it here.
Have a very Merry Everything and a Happy 2010! - Rox
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