It's been quiet here on Rox and Roll ... too quiet. So I'm offering a quick, somewhat boring (sorry!) update on how things are going in the Life of Rox.
I'm back to work at my seasonal, part-time gig, October-March, and I've been tasked with some new, special responsibilities therein. Life is good in that regard. I wasn't sure how I felt about the job last year, when it was new to me; especially working mostly from home, I wasn't sure how the in-office crew valued my performance. Especially now that I know that I did well and was recognized for that, I feel pretty good about returning to work. (The paycheck sure will be nice, too!) Meanwhile, I've done some contract writing for a mobile start-up recently as well. I so badly want "writer" (or something like it) to be my job title that I sincerely hope that I've exceeded expectations there, too. Working two jobs in a week while being an at-home parent is not for the faint of heart. I've been glad to have my dad here to help me (and to change the lightbulbs that I can't reach, and to fix the sink drain...) and am reminded of how much I miss being closer to family. I gained a lot from growing up near my grandparents and am sorry I wasn't able to recreate that for my kids -- yet I feel super-lucky that my parents are willing to travel a lot to lend a hand and to see their awesome grandkids. I'm not sure if I've thanked my parents adequately for how much they've shown up this past year, so let me offer this very big, public THANKS!!!
In any event, there's obviously a lot more going on, but I'm not going to be writing about that stuff, not for a long time, if ever. I'm trying to focus on my new life path as a single mom in the most positive sense possible. I'd be lying if I didn't note that it's exceptionally hard to do that at times, but, all things considered, I'm doing pretty well. I feel great about myself and know that I chose the right (and the only) path for me. I feel great about my work. I feel great about my kids, especially when they pile on me at night for our half an hour of read-aloud family time. I think we all cherish that closeness a little extra these days. I try to focus less on the uncertainty of the future -- where we're going to live, how I'm going to make ends meet -- than I do on what is certain: that I am doing my best to craft the best possible life for my kids and myself given this set of circumstances.
And so, with that, I leave you this ... yawn ... post. Soon, I will regale you with tales of raucous laughter related to Petunia's and Dash's antics, but, for the moment, I am mellow ... and overwhelmed ... so I'm going to sign off with yet another Mary Oliver poem. I love her work, and this one really reaches me these days, as I -- finally -- have started waking up grateful again for the blessings and the challenges of each new day.
'Til next time, and the many times after, may you wake up grateful every day, too. ~ Rox
Morning Poem
Every
morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange
sticks
of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again
and
fasten themselves to the high branches ---
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands
of
summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails
for
hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it
the
thorn
that is heavier than lead ---
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging ---
there
is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted ---
each
pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,
whether
or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.
~ Mary Oliver ~
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