I have been writing for days: writing for work, writing to audition for more work, writing some belated holiday greetings, writing this blog post -- for days. I had some serious meat in a post reflecting on 2013. Deep, chewy, reflective, raw meat. And ... I just scrapped it.
If there is one feeling I have on this first day of 2014, it is that I do not want to look backward. Or, as one of my favorite movie characters of all time, Edna Mode of The Incredibles, said, "I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now."
Oh, how long I have waited for The Now! The feeling I had as this day began is in some ways comparable to the feeling I had the first time I held my firstborn: that feeling that I have waited all of my life for this moment, and I did not even know it until it arrived.
This is the first year I begin as a truly single person since the New Year of 1990. Wrap your head around that with me for a moment: this is the first year in over half of my life that I start as Me. Wow.
But I do not declare this another Year of Me. Instead, I welcome 2014 as the Year of Now.
What does that mean? It means that this year, I invite you to join me in grabbing life by the balls. In saying "why not?" more often. In taking risks, and in welcoming adventures, and in chartering new waters, even if a bit scary. In making mistakes, and more mistakes, and in learning from them. In not beating yourself up about that but, instead, in embracing the imperfection (or, as my son would say, wabi-sabi) that is a fact of any life being well-lived. In being unafraid to redefine one's paradigms -- or, in saying "screw paradigms" altogether.
I will be doing some housekeeping this year, throwing out (as in, getting rid of) a lot of things: Expectations. Aiming for perfection. Trying to be somebody I'm not. Faking it. Judgement, most especially of myself. Excuses.
I will be making room for some new things: Self-acceptance. More adventures. Rich experiences. Deeper connection with good friends. Dating. Travel. Meaningful work that I enjoy. Increased commitment to my health and fitness, not because I am not fine how I am, but, rather, because I want to be in top form for these my second twenties. I need energy for all of these plans!
And I have to make more dedicated time for the things I have always loved: Beyond the obvious (my kids), this list includes the beach, at which I do not spend nearly enough time, reading great novels, finishing the writing of my own novels, making art, cooking great food to share with friends, and fireside snuggles.
Whatever you are making time for in 2014, please do me the favor of remembering this long-held mantra of mine: nothing is worth more than this day. Nothing is worth more than this day.
And in this Year of Now, I plan to embrace every loving minute of it. Life is too good, and too fleeting, to do otherwise.
Happy New Year! xo Rox