That's how I feel I should go around introducing myself during this ridiculous week. Here's my schedule (above and beyond the get to/from school, prepare three square meals a day, nap, homework, bath etc. routine):
Monday eve: Take Petunia to the Girl Scout Christmas party. Also take cookies and $20 exchange gift. Help with craft that involves tying two pieces of fleece together to make a pillow. Become amazed that a lot of 7 and 8 year olds can't tie a knot. (Fortunately, Petunia could!)
Tuesday: Attend holiday jewelry party in the morning. Pull a Guv and buy myself some earrings for Christmas. Lunch with June Cleaver (who is so awesome, so what a nice break!). Take Petunia to tennis at 5. Pick up the Guv from the train at 7.
Wednesday: Go to Dash's parent-teacher conference in the morning. Pray he's not getting kicked out of preschool. Meet briefly with Petunia's teacher after school to discuss end-of-year party. Print pictures for family night crafts. Take Petunia to her school's "family night" at 7. Help kids build gingerbread houses out of graham crackers and frosting. Can you say g-e-r-m-s? Somewhere in there, help Petunia to learn some of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" for her "holiday sharing" tomorrow.
Thursday: Spiff up to attend private school parent interview with the Guv in the morning. Lunch with his colleague/my friend. Take kids to advent service at church at 4:30. Attend the library board meeting (I'm a trustee, how strange is that) at 7:30.
Friday: Take Petunia to the dentist at 8 am. Volunteer at the town library in the morning. Volunteer at the school library in the afternoon.
Saturday: Take Petunia to tap dance in the morning. Bake Christmas cookies and wrap gifts for the Guv's family. Squeeze in the writing of some of our 150 (literally) cards.
Sunday: Leave on a 7 am train to start the day with Petunia and au pair Maria at the Radio City Christmas Spectacular at 9. Go to Brooklyn afterward for Christmas with the Guv's family. Return to NJ for a 4:00 birthday party.
What's missing? Tennis. The gym. Almost everything that I want to do (ME ME ME!). Mailing seven packages to my family and friends. Preparing our "sleigh" full of kids' stuff for Vermont.
And the new Maple Clove drink some friends poured into me at their jewelry party last month. Or two. Or three. Did I mention that I should really start looking for a paying, outside-the-home job, because I'm really not cut out for this?
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