This morning, as Petunia was dressing for tap dance, she came into my room in tears. I asked what was wrong, and she yelled, "Mama! It's so embarassing!" with her arms crossed over her chest. When I coaxed her into unfolding her arms and talking to me, the problem became apparent. She had put her leotard on backward, and it threatened to reveal her boobs (her term for them, not mine!).
Now, this is funny to me because yesterday, she almost left for school with an entire dress on backward. Clearly, the child is having an issue with putting her clothes on properly. So, I declared tomorrow to be backward day and suggested that we all wear our clothes backward. The idea didn't fly -- she just gave me a deadpan look and said, "Mama, that would be SO embarassing." Oh well.
In any event, as we corrected the Problem of the Backward Leotard, Petunia muttered, "I don't want to have boobs, anyway!" through her tears. So, as much as it kills me to say "boobs" instead of "breasts", I gave her my own deadpan look and told her: "Petunia, someday, when you're a woman, your boobs will grow larger, and, one day, you'll have a baby. And as you feed that baby milk through those boobs, you'll be very thankful that you have the power to nourish your baby. Boobs may get in the way sometimes, but they're very important to the circle of life."
My motherly lesson was apparently riotously funny, and she spent the entire ride to tap dance asking me if I could ever picture her breastfeeding a baby and snickering. But I couldn't help to think to myself that yes, yes I can, and isn't that the point of all of this: to raise a strong, independent woman who can give and nourish life just as I gave Petunia her life and nourished hers?
In the midst of all of our recent sickness and chaos, sometimes I feel guilty that I wish (a little too often) that they'd grow up and take care of themselves already. Then the guilt is supplanted by this realization that, when they do, it's because I ripped out my own heart, split it in two, stuck their little arms and legs on the halves and sent them to go forth into the world and do some good. And when they hurt, I will hurt -- but when they are joyful, that's my joy, too. It is my highest aspiration that their happiness and their success in life surpass my own. So, again, yes, Petunia, I can picture you breastfeeding many babies, even though it's a little strange right now. You'll make a great mom someday, and Dash will make a great dad someday, because the Guv and I are working hard to give you the toolkit you'll need. In the meanwhile, let's work on figuring out how to help you dress yourself properly, so that your boobs are not a burden at age 7, and perhaps we can even avoid dressing in all pink sometimes... just a suggestion.
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