Resolved

In the past, I've blown off New Year's resolutions as easily as I've blown off Lent.  (Hey, I'm a good Christian, but I'm a mom, too, which means I've given up my life as I know it for decades -- really, giving up chocolate is going to matter to the Big Guy???)  Anyhoo, this year, I have some real commitments to make because last year was the year of High Drama in just about every respect.  My health was all out of whack, and so were a whole lotta other things that I just won't go into, and, well, suffice it to say, I just wasn't too thrilled with 2010 -- except for the way we ended it, with an absolutely breathtakingly beautiful family vacation in my beloved Green Mountains of Vermont.  Nothing says "start fresh" like freshly fallen snow, and lots of it, in a place that reeks of peace and self-determination.

So this year, I have some resolutions, and they're more like life resolutions -- not just for this year, but commitments that I make with intention to live better.  I would love to hear yours, too.

I resolve:

To let it go.  What does this mean to me?  It goes way beyond "don't sweat the small stuff."  It means that I'm not carrying any "baggage" this year, or ever again.  It means that I have to accept that there are situations I cannot change, despite my best efforts.  It means that I have to accept that there are people whom I just cannot be around.  It means that I will not beat myself up over every mistake, second-guess decisions made from my gut, and fret over every move I make that may not be in perfect accord with someone else's universe.   I will be me.  I will be decisive.  And no matter what happens, I will move on.

To achieve peak fitness.  My life depends on it.  (To some extent, everyone's life depends on it, actually.)  While I've always been a gym member and aerobics groupie, I took my body for granted until part of it stopped working; I'll never do that again.  I'm focusing on strenghtening my core most of all this year, as that's the area right around my busted lung, and it feels right to encase it in something strong and protective. 

To eat with intention.  I am not a dieter, nor will I ever be.  Frankly, I eat pretty healthfully as it is, and my BMI is normal, so diet is not a huge concern.  That said, I sure do end up eating a lot of crap that I don't want to eat.  Especially running from practice to practice with the kids, it's easy to fill the void with taquitos.  (I'm convinced Mexican food is my undoing.  Have you noticed how there are rarely any veggies in Mexican cuisine?)  This year, I eat with intention.  I will fuel my body with food that belongs there. (And yes, occasionally, with things I just want -- I'm a firm believer in "everything in moderation.")  This means that I have to pay more attention to meal planning and cooking, but I have family support for that; we all want to eat out less, especially since I cook a lot better than much of what we eat elsewhere.  So, this is the year of "homemade."  My sous-chef, Petunia, is pretty fired up about that!

To get out more often.  With two kids in school, the Guv and I are relishing breakfast and lunch dates, which require no babysitter.  But we still need to make more time for things we love: concerts, movies, dinners with friends that aren't hosted in our backyard.  Whether it's with the Guv or with girlfriends, I have some awesome dresses that I need to wear somewhere.  Let's make some plans!

To be true to myself.  Wrapping up this list is something I lost a lot last year and need to regain: just plain being me.  I've always had self-confidence, but I had a heck of a lot of something new last year for the first time: self-doubt.  Part of this is fallout from the whole eff-up that was 2010, and part of this is where I am in life (in age, in friends, in income, in parenthood, in everything).  I got lost in who I was supposed to be versus who I am.  And that hasn't really changed much.  I'm a jeans-and-t-shirt gal who is never going to wear eyeliner and the perfect flats just to meet girlfriends for coffee.  Most of my girlfriends are okay with that.  I need to remember that I'm okay with that and get back to the things I love to do: wife-ing, mom-ing, writing, exercising, cooking, and, generally, living the dream.  (And maybe getting an out-of-home job one of these days...)

And that, my friends, is my wish for you in 2011: may you and yours live the dream this and every year.