Rox and Roll

Vacation Brain, and BlogHer: Here I Come!

At first, I thought I'd write up a silly meme, leaving it up just to have "something new" here, using vacation brain as an excuse.  Do you know the difference between writer's block and vacation brain?   Writer's block is when you're unable to write, and vacation brain is when you're too lazy to write.  And lazy, right now, is a very good thing, even though it's not so good for my blog.  Seriously, this started out looking like it was going to be One Miserable Summer, and guess what?  It's been the best summer ever.  Ever.  And I've learned a lesson: when I fill myself with dread and fear, upset and disgust, negativity and reactivity, the only outcome is misery.  (I know: duh.)  Despite having those emotions when we left CA for VT, I decided on the airplane to dump them over flyover country, and get this: it worked!  I showed up in New England with a huge smile on my face, and it's been there pretty much since.  That's called "we reap what we sow" -- or, as my favorite boarding school teacher said, "you buy the ticket, you take the ride."  I was on a roller coaster before arriving here, but now, I'm a passenger on a gondola steered by one hot gondolier (who just returned to work today... shout out to the Guv for bringing home the benjamins!).  Anyway, the difference between the roller coaster and the gondola is amazing.  My psyche is healed.  Now we're going back to CA soon, where I'll endure a bit more tumult (no matter what I do) before settling back into real life... but guess what's nestled among here (peace), there (tumult) and a shiny happy future?  BlogHer! 

At this year's BlogHer conference, I'll have something I didn't have many of there last year: lots of friends.  Friends!  And we are going to par-tay like it's 1990-something, and we're all still in college.  I knocked the conference last year because I thought it was a drunk mommy swag fest; but, now, I've decided that I like me some drunk mommy parties, because we deserve it.  Especially after the year we've had!  So NYC, be on notice that The Mommies Are Coming.  Whoot, whoot!

Because I do go for the education as well as for the experience, this year I signed up for BlogHer's White House Project.  I don't know that I have political ambitions, but the Project educates women to advocate better for their issues of concern.  While I have a lot of concerns, as a mom, my #1 is youth safety, especially in the cyber-arena.  I'll be there with an ear to the ground for skills I can use to advocate against cyberbullying and for cybersafety.  And I'll write about the White House Project and issues of concern to parents on my new blog, Rox on a Soapbox!  I couldn't be more excited about having a home for my punditry, and it's about to have a kick-a$$ design thanks to a friend who is a very talented artist and fellow Wesleyan alum.  Stay tuned for that!

As for the rest of life, you'll notice that I don't really have a health update.  That's because I feel pretty good!  My doctor didn't think I'd have problems returning to New England, probably thanks to my nine zillion pulmonary medications, but, since this is where the ten months of hell worsened, I remained unsure.  It's nice to say "I feel good!"  Let me rephrase, James Brown-style: "WOW!  I feel good, da da dah da da dah dah..."  As for the rest of the fam, the Guv is back to work after hanging with us in the mountains, squeezing in a couple of rounds of golf including walking a "highland" (read: mountainside) golf course in 100+-degree, very-humid heat.  He takes the USGA walking pledge too seriously, but he lived, so I won't complain.  Our daughter Petunia is presently at sleep-away camp, where she's riding horses and hopefully not falling out of bed... her nickname is "Tornado," and the problem with that is that, if she rolls out, she'll fall out of the whole darned canvas/platform tent and find herself outside (as the canvas is not affixed to the platform).  As the Guv would say, "but she'll get a story out of it!"  Sigh... And Dash, he is at science camp, having been joined last minute by the only dear and sweet little friend he has here.  I am super-psyched that he has a friend with him this week, as it'll offset his missing his sister a little bit.  And, hopefully, it'll make him tired, because I've never had a week totally alone with him before.  I'm looking forward to it, but only if he sleeps.  Vegas is taking odds on that, and they're not in my favor.

Soooo... that's what's up in the world of Rox and Roll.  How is your summer going? 

Thoughts on BlogHer, Day Two

This BlogHer post is going to be much shorter because I confess: I skipped most of the daytime action on Day Two.  More on how I spent most of my morning in a moment; first, I have to gush about the day two kick-off keynote, "Traditional Media Chops Meet a New Media Calling" featuring Tina Brown (now of The Daily Beast, formerly of The New Yorker), Donna Byrd (publisher of The Root), and Ilene Chaiken (creator of "The L Word").  These amazing women sat down together and had a conversation about media (mostly social media), including things like access to it, its reach, and its impact.  My jaw hit the floor when I heard Tina Brown declare that she will never go back to print media.  I wasn't sure how to reconcile that with Katie Orenstein inspiring me to write op-eds; but then, maybe I'll just hit Tina up for a job on her site.  It was fascinating to hear Donna Byrd try to address the Skip Gates situation (he founded The Root).  As for Ilene Chaiken, hearing her talk about how sponsors wouldn't go near her show at first, missing the opportunity to market to lesbians -- the most loyal marketing demographic -- was a real eye-opener.  But my biggest take-away for the day was: Tina Brown thinks print media is dead.  Now, my husband would tell you that she ruined Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, so her opinion doesn't hold much sway for him; but I say she once was those publications... and if she has rounded on them and those of their ilk, who else might?

The rest of the "talk-at" sessions didn't call to me the same as they did on Day One; so I decided that if I'm going to be in Chicago, I owed it to my uncle to take a stroll around town.

You see, my Uncle Steve lived in Chicago for most of his adult life.  He died in January 2004 at the age of 60 after a host of health issues.  He was a prolific scientist and more or less a hermit.  One of my very few regrets in life is that, knowing that he would probably never make the trip, I never took my daughter Petunia to see him.  There was always a reason, usually money, as we went from one grad school tuition to another; plus, we'd always have time, right?  When my dad went to visit his brother Steve, he always mentioned that Petunia's recent pictures were on display in the house (I tried to mail some monthly).  I will be shocked if Petunia does not become a scientist, a physicist specifically, as that's been in her blood since birth.  Maybe that's karma placing a little bit of what we lost into her, who knows.  In any event, for Uncle Steve, I decided to check out his town, five years too late.

Truth be told, I didn't see nearly enough of the Windy City.  I walked by the water some, especially along the river.  I walked up and down Michigan Avenue and a wee bit of side streets around there.  I was struck by several things: When I was last in Chicago, I was 11.  I don't remember much of it except that I thought it to be like Philly -- sprawling and dirty (no offense to my sisters in the City of Brotherly Love, but you know that grime is baked-in).  How much difference a couple of decades (and, perhaps, being in "the right part of town") can make!  I was struck by the public art on display , placed in flowerbeds, juxtaposed against skyscrapers.  And the cleanliness -- wow!  Even the local mall had tablecloths on its food court tables.  (Yes, I went into a mall, just to check out my first-ever Lego store.)  This town has class.  It was sparkly, shiny, like a new penny.  I really loved Chicago in the summertime, most especially the light breeze that tousled my hair just perfectly.  (You can't pay me enough to go back in winter, though; I've heard those stories of brrrrr!)  What a gorgeous town filled with smiley people!  I am happy that my uncle was surrounded by that beauty during his too-short life.

Reality beckoned me back to BlogHer after too short of a morning off, and, just as I was trying to figure out which post-lunch session I would pop into, I bumped into Carmen, who is simultaneously the most lovely and the most bad-ass mom-of-six I'll ever meet.  (She's a martial artist.  I am in awe of her.)  We sat down for coffee and chai, and it was a welcome interlude to talk one-on-one with a new friend in the midst of a manic conference.  (Mental note: repeat the same at all future conferences in the middle of day two!) 

By the time I got back to session-land, I hopped around a few times... the BlogHer session on the advertising network didn't speak to me, as my blog is "pure" (no advertisements; in other words, I write this for free, so you should send me surprise presents if you like it).  The comedy panel (including Wendi and Jessica, among others) was delightful, but the room was about a hundred degrees and overflowing; shame on BlogHer for not giving humor any space on its site and then shorting these gals in real-life, too. 

The community keynote wrapping up blogger about "the future" was, well, yawn.  I find BlogHer and its founders rather inspirational, but do they really need to wrap up tooting their (and a little bit of our) horns? 

Off to another fried-food happy-hour... off to the concierge level to eat first, since I did actually learn my lesson last time.  And then... off to BowlHer at Lucky Strikes Lanes!  Talk about "wow" -- these ladies know how to throw a party!  Good food and Bud Light bottles in the shape of bowling pins were everywhere.  Former American Idol contestant Brooke White performed in the little (and quiet -- no bowling sounds infiltrated!) lounge behind one of the bars.  And, best of all, get this: their swag (mostly cosmetics) was given out late in the game via an orderly line, so there was no early-on push-and-shove-then-leave business.  There was also other swag scattered around the room (scarves, Goldfish, cupcakes, more cosmetics).  Now that's the way to throw a successful party involving swag -- reward the ones who stay, and the ones who don't are mollified by a bag of Goldfish.  (heh, heh)

After a brief stop at the obligatory cheeseburger party (does anyone actually want to smell McDonald's food that late at night?), I headed back to my room to pack.  And pack.  And pack.

And the next day, I was home, absolutely exhausted.  My kids had a great weekend with their Babcia and their dad, and I had been alone.  I didn't get the rest that I'd hoped for, but I came away with something better -- a lot of new friends, and a better sense for this "voodoo that I do" as the Guv would say.  Now, I'm eager to get home to California and get the kids back in school so that I can write -- really write -- and see where that takes me.  I'll try my hand at authoring some evidence-based arguments from my own soapbox that will hopefully capture some of this fervor for companies and social media and educated women who have something to say to interact.  Because even if I write somewhat anonymously, I don't want companies' attention regarding their free stuff; I want their attention because I've said something worthy of a reaction.  Maybe my first op-ed will be on the unenvironmentalism of all of this swag in all of its packing... now there's an idea...

More on BlogHer next August from NYC!

Thoughts on BlogHer, Day One

Reading my last post on the BlogHer pre-parties, I had to snicker because I morphed some things from Friday into Thursday because it was late, I was tired, I'd been drinking, and I didn't know what day it was because of a combination of all of those things.  Chances are, you weren't at BlogHer, so you can't even tell... except you can infer some things about the weekend, as I promised a post on Day One on Friday, and it's now Sunday Wednesday.  Nothing will make me procrastinate like good girlfriends, free drinks and "friending" them all on Facebook now that I'm home.

On the real BlogHer day one, I began attending "break-out sessions."  Above all things, I attended BlogHer to learn some new things about social media.  I wasn't really seeking information on how to build my own brand as much as I was seeking information on what else was out there -- an important distinction to me because I wasn't there to meet celebrities (everyone I met was a star!) or to become one myself.  After lasting about two seconds in the speed-dating thing following the newbie breakfast, I learned another...

BlogHer lesson: Most bloggers think they're already famous, that you should've heard of them already and that they're destined to further superstardom in the blogosphere.   Since I wasn't there to either worship or to preen, speed-dating was not (and will never be) my thing.

The most amazing break-out session I attended on Friday (or ever) was led by Katie Orenstein of The Op-Ed Project.  Did you know that 9 out of 10 Op-Eds submitted to The Washington Post are written by men?  I didn't either, and the rest of the session was even more fascinating.  Katie talked with us about the bones of a good op-ed piece, and I left feeling like I could write one.  I am confident in my writing skills, but I have never been confident in my ability to write something worthy of The New York Times.  Now, I'll try... First, though, I'll be launching another blog in the fall as my practice space; I'm extremely excited about trying a new form of writing.

I did attend other break-out sessions, too, but I didn't take away much... I think that next year, I'll get more out of these sessions; but this year, as a newbie, a lot of them were too niche for me.

Then the community keynote happened.  It happened.  Eden Kennedy of Fussy moderated twenty bloggers reading posts nominated by the BlogHer community.  It was an emotional roller coaster.  From my very favorite post -- the riotously funny Wendi Aaron's ode to Diet Coke, proving that she is my husband's soulmate, making me a little sad -- to the tragic stories of abuse and loss, I spent nearly two hours laughing and crying.  That's the ONE BlogHer event that was absent of alcoholic beverages yet sorely in need of them.  For the last two posts read, I confess that had to step out of the room.  I was just too emotionally zapped.

After a brief meditation break in the massage chair (love that concierge level lounge!), I headed to my first BlogHer cocktail hour, a mind-blowing mix of SoBe cocktails, Mrs. PotatoHead dancing, and karaoke.  I also learned another...

BlogHer lesson: BlogHer cocktail parties will involve Food That Is Bad For You.  Fried artichokes, fried chicken, fried shrimp, fried fried stuff, like those little fried batter droppings from Long John Silvers.  For gluten-free me, it is a weight-loss proposition.  For drinking-SoBe-cocktails me, it is a Bad Idea. 

After realizing that I wasn't going to be upright much longer if I didn't ingest food, I headed to that proving-itself-priceless concierge level lounge, where normal happy hour fare -- veggie trays, cheeses, etc. -- saved my evening.  Then I headed to the next party: Mommy Needs a Cocktail, a fabulous event with minimal swag (which meant more fun and conversation) and, more importantly, flowing chocolate fountains.  I hung out with Christopher, the social media dude from GM -- yes, that GM, General Motors -- kind sponsors of BlogHer despite the economy -- and learned that my beloved Saturn company has been bought by the Penske tire people.  (You probably already knew that, but I don't read the WSJ unless my husband's in it.)  That's a wild idea... kind of backward... a tire company buying a car company.  I think I like it.  I also think I still want a Saturn Sky, something that was mysteriously absent from my swag bag...?!  I decided to skip the Type-A Momfluence party, having heard there was a line out the door for swag an hour before the party... meaning that by the time I got there, few people would be left, as they would've grabbed their bags and ran away already.  Did I mention that I prefer parties where there is no fighting-for-swag?

So, after a long and precious evening, my cumulative Friday BlogHer lessons were: 1) I really like making new friends (like Carmen, Wendi, Carol, Jessica, Melissa, Heidi and so many others!) ... but not if they're only talking to me to pimp their blogs.  2) If I'm going to a bar, I need to take a Luna Bar so that I don't drink on an empty stomach.  3) Most importantly, I can learn a lot of important stuff at these conferences... That session with Katie Orenstein has the potential to be life-changing, and I think that's pretty darned cool.

Tomorrow, or days from now: BlogHer: Day Two and final.

Thoughts on BlogHer, Thursday night pre-parties

I am writing this post from an extremely comfortable perch in the Concierge Level of the Chicago Sheraton.  The room upgrade is courtesy of my ever-traveling husband, whose Starwood points level made the desk clerk's eyes pop.  It was really, really nice to arrive here alone and be treated like an honored guest -- so this Sheraton (and Starwood in general) gets a double thumbs-up from me.  You know what else gets the double thumbs-up?  Chicago!  I am shocked.  I was in Chicago once, almost 25 years ago.  I remembered it like present-day Philly, but it is just not.  It is beautiful -- sparkly, clean, gorgeous!  I could live here... in the summer.  I will never see another winter, not because this damned pneumonia will have gotten the best of me but, rather, because I choose to live where it's 72 and sunny every blessed day.  Thank you, Silicon Valley, for giving me that.

Now, on to BlogHer and my observations.  The first thing I have to say, as you may have already guessed from my writing, is that BlogHer is not about blogging; it is about drinking alcohol.  It is about starting your day with a drink, having a drink for morning snack, with lunch, after lunch, mid-afternoon, cocktail party, dinner, and many afterparties.  I am pretty much not exaggerating here.  Hiccup.  These ladies d-r-i-n-k their weight in booze.  I am aghast, and I am not even trying to keep up.  I had a couple of cocktails tonight (a SoBe margarita, an HP-tini) ... and a coffee drink, but I think it was spiked, too.  Tomorrow, water.  Lots and lots of water.  And I'll be eating my breakfast, sans Bloody Mary (which, IMHO, tastes like ass), in the Concierge Level Lounge.  Sweet baby Jeebus, nobody needs liquor for breakfast!

Enough about the booziness of this place, let's move onto the swag.  There are people who come to this conference for the swag alone, but, in some instances, scoring swag is akin to risking your life.  My first BlogHer party was the Social Luxe Lounge at the nearby Hyatt, and that one got nasty with regard to the swag.  RSVPs weren't checked, people were cheating to get multiple bags, and I didn't get a one.  And I was okay with that, because I scored some Crocs for my kid, a manicure and a glass of wine (hiccup) -- that was good enough for me.  But when I left, there was a woman arguing vehemently with the party's registration girls about her missing swag bag.  Since Obama was about to show up at that very hotel, I moved on to other things like figuring out how to accost him over his plan to soak the "rich" to pay for his healthcare plan.  The Secret Service thwarted my attempts, so I went back to my hotel and moved on to our Silicon Valley Moms Group party, hosted by the Chicago Moms Blog at the NV Lounge.

To get to the SVMG party, we had to take trolley buses, which would have been a lot more fun had the driver not taken forever to leave and then gotten lost.  No matter; we showed up, and there were two vodka cocktails waiting for us -- a good thing for me, because I can't drink vodka.  When I ordered one of the drinks "virgin," the bartender -- a Jessica Simpson look-alike, and she knew it -- rolled her well-painted eyes at me.  The staff at that lounge clearly didn't *get* mommy bloggers.  I got over it after eating some bacon-stuffed tomatoes (doesn't bacon make the world a better place?!) and some ribs that tasted of cinnamon (a fabulous combination, btw).  Then we moved on to tarot card readings, back massages, and a crazy photo booth.  The SVMG party was my favorite so far because it was about sharing an experience -- not about stuff, as there was no swag.  Dare I say no one missed the "stuff"?

Then... because of course there are parties all night here at BlogHer... I moved on to the People's Party.  More booze, more swag -- and this time, there was enough for everyone from places like Scholastic, Disney, the Ringling Brothers Circus, and hosts of others.  But it was wayyyyy too packed to even move.  So... I went down to get in line for the Room-Something-or-Other party.

Now, I wouldn't have known about the Room-Something-or-Other party had it not been for my friend Beth.  She whispered to me that it was a must-go.  I hadn't RSVP'd; I had no idea what it was and figured, with this much booze flowing, it was probably a drug-swap -- and, quite frankly, this lightweight needed to go to sleep.  Dutifully, though, I RSVP'd, BlogHer newbie that I am, and learned while standing in line that the swag was... drum roll please... sex toys.  In other words, these women are very serious about their partying on multiple levels.  I stood there with a bunch of people whom I'd just met, chatting as if we weren't doing something very, ahem, weird.  We were standing in line for free sex toys.  That's just weird, people.  And then, something happened.  The line surged forward like WalMart on the day after Christmas.  Not interested in being trampled -- and I seriously was in danger -- I stepped aside.  I did not get a bag of sex toys, much to the Guv's chagrin.  Seriously, though, there were fake butts in there.  Fake. Butts.  And since I already have an ass and a half after birthing two kids, I just didn't need that.  Thanks, bye-bye.  I went to bed.

So the lesson I learned from the BlogHer pre-party day: Women bloggers are drunk swag whores. 

Tomorrow, a recap of Day One...