Rox and Roll

Holiday Gift Guide, Part Two: Gifts of In-Home Entertainment, Part A: Books

In this gift guide "In-Home Entertainment" entry, I'm covering books, from my favorite adult reads to cookbooks and kids' books, plus some extra "gifts for readers" at the end.  I've been an active participant in the (now-defunct) Silicon Valley Moms Blog book club, many members from which are, like me, now participating in the From Left to Write book club and, through that, have been fortunate to be exposed to some fantastic reads that we might not otherwise choose.  I'm also a member of an offline book club, where discussing books among friends in real life never gets old.  (Yes, I'm a bookaholic!)  This list below includes some books from and some beyond the purview of my blogging "work."  It's all noted with disclaimers where appropriate.  I've also added a parenthetical note with suggested gift ideas to pair with the book.  Enjoy!

Adult Fiction:

• Girl in Translation by Jeanne Kwok (reviewed for Silicon Valley Moms Group book club): One of the best fiction books I've ever read, this book is practically the author's memoir, even though she bills it as fiction -- a coming-of-age immigrant tale exposing the lives of sweatshop workers and, in the case of this book, their first-generation American children. (Gift idea: Support the end of sweatshops in America by purchasing some items from American Apparel: gloves, scarves, hats, etc.)

• Following Polly by Karen Bergreen (reviewed for From Left to Write book club): This is a debut mystery novel by a former lawyer and stand-up comic, and, as such, it's refreshingly funny and quite different from my usual mystery reads; I look forward to Bergreen's next work!  (Gift idea: a whoopie cushion?!  I'm only half-kidding ... this is a tough one to pair, so how about reading snacks, a book light, tea, vodka?)

• The Good Daughters by Joyce Maynard: My (offline) book group chose this book to read this month, and I whipped through it in two days because it was that gripping.  A story of two girls born on the same day in the same New Hampshire hospital, the intertwining of the two families' lives and the way those lives are chronicled over a large expanse of time makes you feel like you're part of their lives by the end of the magnificent tale.  I'm planning to read some of Maynard's other works soon.  (Gift idea: This one has a lot to do with farming, especially goat cheese and strawberries ... add some crackers and some apple cider for a fantastic seasonal treat!)

• A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore: My dad, a retired college English professor, suggested that I read this book, and I'm quite glad that he did.  It's the story of a midwestern college student who works as a nanny for a toddler, and the twists that this book takes are mind-boggling.  What will keep me reading Moore's stories is her unbelievable writing style: witty, wry, and descriptive in both light and dark ways.  Like "The Good Daughters," above, you'll think about this book months after you've read it. (Gift idea: soup and crackers... it's a book that calls for comfort food!)

Adult NonFiction:

• The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine PhD: The subtitle of this book is "How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids" -- and I feel that's almost all that needs to be said about the book.  Every single parent I know, especially here in Silicon Valley, needs to read this book.  Every. Single. One.  (Gift idea: Pair this with something to encourage a family to spend time together: something like an Apples-to-Apples game, or an American Girl family quiz book.)

• the possibility of everything by Hope Edelman (reviewed for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog book club) - This book is just plain lovely; it's a lovely travelogue of Belize, and it's a lovely tale of natural medicine and parental love.  It's very unlike anything I've read to date.  (Gift idea: a trip to Belize?!  I wish!  Tropical fruit, perhaps...)

Cookbooks:

• The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman (reviewed for the From Left to Write book club): By the co-founder of Earthbound Farm, this cookbook raises your environmental consciousness with its focus on sustainable agriculture -- and marries those concerns with fantastic recipes that are good for you.  The granola clusters are addictive!  (Gift idea: bake granola clusters and gift them with the book.)

• The Gluten-Free Almond Flour Cookbook by Elana Amsterdam: I purchased this cookbook because I'm wheat-allergic and am always searching for good baking alternatives.  I've found the answer in almond flour.  While I have some other alternative cookbooks, like babycakes by Erin McKenna, the recipes involving alternate flours are often high-maintenance and involve a precarious balance of chemistry.  Not so with almond flour!  In fact, I find it easier to work with than wheat -- and its health benefits far exceed any other flour.  Gluten-free or not, this is a can't-miss cookbook.  (Gift idea: almond flour, to get the baker started.)

• Fanny at Chez Panisse by Alice Waters: Oh, how I love this kids' cookbook!  Written from the perspective of Alice Waters' daughter Fanny at age 7, it's divided in a most peculiar way (you'll see when you pick it up!), and the tales interwoven with the recipes are as delicious as the suggested menus.  I love the Moosewood cookbooks for children, but, as far as the interweaving of recipes with stories, this one really takes the cake.  It's great for kids from about ages 8-13, especially girls who'll identify with Fanny.

Kids' books:

• Redwoods by Jason Chin: This book is appropriate for the elementary school-aged set and is primarily a primer on redwoods, experienced through a young boy's eyes after his discovery of a book on these magnificent trees.  A lot of people will be receiving this one from me as a baby gift!  (Gift idea: a donation to plant a tree through the Save the Redwoods League.)

• The Visual Dictionary of Star Wars by David Reynolds: When Petunia was 5, she went through a Star Wars phase, dressing as Princess Leia for Halloween; now that Dash is five, he dresseed as a Clone Wars ARF trooper for Halloween, and we're back on Tattoine/Endor/the Death Star.  Dash is getting this book for Christmas because it's everything about everything in movies 4-6, the most young-kid friendly of the six movies. (Gift idea: a Jedi robe)

•  the Magic Tree House series of books by Mary Pope Osborne: I read these with Petunia, and now Dash and I are reading them together -- and the tales never get old!  The brother and sister pair, Jack and Annie, go on fantastic adventures with books via a magic tree house, and, though fiction, the tales expose the characters and the "real" children reading them to some fantastic historically-based tales.  My kids have learned about Egypt, tornadoes, dinosaurs, and a whole host of other things from these books -- and any fiction that piques their curiosity to to further exploring of subject matter is a big WIN to this mom!

• The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart: This book, appropriate for kids about 9-13 or so, is one of the best I've ever read, and Petunia agrees.  It's a tale of mystery and adventure that rivals Harry Potter, sans the dementors and spells.  There are two (maybe more by now) subsequent books in this burgeoning series, all as fantastic as the first, per Petunia, who says it's perfect for both boys and girls. 

Gifts for Readers:

• A Kindle or any kind of e-reader: Whether a Kindle, a Nook, an iPad, or whatever, these devices are an answer to an avid reader's prayer.  My parents bought me a Kindle a couple of years ago, and I'm not sure how I'd live without it now.  I love that I can download just one issue of a New Yorker at a discounted price (usually when my dad calls me and suggests an issue I'd like), as I can't keep up with a whole subscription; and I also love that I no longer need or want to leaf through People magazines at the doctor's office because I have something better that I want to read in my purse at all times.  You rarely see me without my Kindle being within arm's reach.  Living in Silicon Valley, I'm hoping that this is the year in which my library figures out a way to let me e-check out books on it ... probably not yet, but hey: the classic book downloads are mostly free while I'm waiting!

• A subscription to a writer's magazine: I don't know many avid readers who haven't thought of penning their own tome.  Why not get their creative juices flowing with a subscription to something like Writer's Digest?

• A book rest: Different from a lap desk, this pyramid book rest is a perfect gift for someone who enjoys reading in bed, whether on a Kindle or from a "real" book.  I don't read in bed when the Guv's around, but, when he's travelling for work, I retire when the kids do to cuddle up with my book -- my treat to myself after a long day of single-parenting!  Now if only this pillow had a holder for my wine glass...

• Flowering tea: I know few bookaholics who don't enjoy a good cup of tea with their tomes, and this flowering tea gift set from Numi is a very special cuppa indeed ... with its glass teapot and spectacular display as it brews, it's one of those things that you'd probably never buy for yourself but greatly enjoy as a special treat.  I gave this set to one of my BFFs this year for her birthday.

 P.S. Here are the books I'm asking Santa for this year:

• Freedom by Jonathan Franzen: I read and enjoyed his book The Corrections, so I'm looking forward to another of Franzen's dysfunctional family tales.

• Tepper Isn't Going Out by Calvin Trillin: I learned of this novel during a holiday book swap (which included sampling three varieties of soup -- a great idea for a party!), and it's supposed to be very funny -- a thin novel built around the quest to secure an urban parking space.  I love me some good New York comedy!

• Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo: Yeah, so I like novels ... anyway, in the same book swap, I learned of this book, a "spiritual road-trip" (as well as a real one) in which the protagonist's New Age sister introduces him to her guru.  It seems like it might be a Kerouac knock-off, but it had me at "Buddha" in the title ... so I'll check it out.

Next up: Holiday Gift Guide, Part Two: Gifts of In-Home Entertainment, Part B: Movies -- with a giveaway, times three!

Cross-posted on Good Stuff Rox

 

Whom would you follow?

For this From Left to Write Book Club we read "Following Polly" by Karen Bergreen.  This debut novel is a mystery written by a stand-up comic/lawyer who is as funny and delightful in person as you'd suspect the writer of this lighthearted book to be.  It was a joy to read.

In many ways, after reading "Following Polly," I am extra-glad that I don't have a stalker story about which I can write.  There was a stalker-ish "butt grabber" on the loose when I was a student at Wesleyan, but he seemed to prefer lusher booties than my then-bony one.  That one raised a lot of ire on my very-PC campus since someone was going around "violating" people, but I couldn't help but laugh about it.  Butt grabbing is some funny, funny stuff.

What I do relate to, though, in "Following Polly" is the idea that someone can captivate us enough that we want to follow them and learn more about how they live their fascinating lives.  Heck, people make money off of doing just that when it comes to celebrities, right?!  But I've already written about how I couldn't care less about Paris-LiLo-Kate-Jersey Shore-Real Housewives etc.  Here are the people I'd like to follow around to see how they do it:

• I want to spy on the mom who shows up to kindergarten drop-off at 8 a.m., dressed to the nines and looking as though she's ready to take on corporate America; but, the thing is, she doesn't work, or sit on an nonprofit boards, or volunteer extensively.  I want to know to where she is wearing those fancy clothes.  (But I don't want to go with her to wherever she's going.  I'm not a fan of any clothes that require ironing.)
• I want to lurk in Calafia and figure out what all of those Google people talk about over lunch.  The ones who are early-Googlers drive from their campus, which, I hear, has a host of fine restaurants, hang out with Charlie in his newest digs and talk shop.  To me, they're like an alien race, and lunch at Calafia is the best place to figure out exactly how they're plotting world domination, since they spend the rest of their day on the Death Star "campus."
• I want to seek out some moms who are really fit and copy their routines, especially when they're up against two straight weeks of sick kids.  I'll never do the 5 a.m. jogging thing, which a few of them do, but I wonder: how do their arms get so toned?  And why do I never see them eat?  Wait, maybe I'm on to something there...
• Speaking of eating, I want to grocery shop with some food blogger moms, like my friend CityMama, who seem to pull off in-advance menu planning -- and who seem to be able to get their kids to eat whatever they cook.  How do they do that?!!!  I want to cook like them, but, more importantly, I want to know their secrets to the foodie child.  Petunia will try (almost) everything once, but Dash's food variety ranges from mac and cheese to grilled cheese to cheese-only pizza to pasta with cheese.  And that's about it.  I want these cooking mamas to teach me (and my kids!) a thing or two.

So, those are the people I might be stalking soon.  If I need a bail fund, we'll post information right here on Rox and Roll.  Meanwhile, if anyone wants to follow me around, you'll learn the following: I only drink good coffee (Blue Bottle, Philz, and mocha from Mayfield only); I dig through the "singles" cheese basket at Whole Foods in search of the stinkiest, most delicious cheese; I take my workouts at the local hard-core gym very seriously to offset the effects of eating cheese and drinking coffee; foursquare is my life; I love living in California, laughing, and spending time with my friends; and I actually do stop to smell every rose I pass.  Also, I'm coming around on designer yoga wear, am weighing the benefits of thongs versus commando, and yes, I share TMI.  In other words, my life's an open book, so I really wouldn't be interesting to stalk.  Lastly, I'm always smiling, and it's probably because I'm either onto you or up to something.  I believe in keeping things interesting.  The end.

**********

I always add a note on whether or not I'd recommend this book.  In this case, absolutely!  I look forward to Karen Bergreen's next book and hope that she chooses to stick with the mystery genre.  I am a serious mystery fan, but I don't find enough books that are funny without being silly in a stupid way; Bergreen fills that niche. 

In the From Left to Write book club, we read books together and then write blog posts inspired by them, not reviewing the works but, rather, responding to them with our own writing.  For participation in the club, I receive the books for free but do not receive other compensation nor do I commit to writing favorably about the books.  The opinions expressed are mine and mine alone. 

From Left to Write Book Club: "This Is Not the Story You Think It Is" by Laura Munson

For this From Left to Write Book Club we read "This Is Not the Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness" by Laura Munson.  It is a memoir of marriage, of a time in Munson's life when her husband is going through a mid-life crisis, forcing Munson to work to keep her marriage and family together during a time that is emotionally and financially trying. 

    For me, it is hard to read a book about someone else's marital difficulties and respond.  My instinct is to judge, to write, "Why did you put up with that?  I wouldn't have!" among many other things.  The reality of marriage is that everyone faces ups and downs -- though perhaps few to the extreme that Munson shares in her book -- and that, for the most part, we keep them private, save, perhaps, for a few whispers to our very dearest girlfriends.  Munson, on the other hand, writes about her struggles after their resolution, and she's received many accolades for sharing her way of coping.  That's how I viewed this book: a memoir of coping with marriage when it's not what you think is should be (despite the title of the book?!).  And that's something to which I can respond.

    For over 20 years, I have been with my high school sweetheart, the Guv, and not a single day has gone by since the day we met when I've regretted that.  Unlike many friends, we've never been "off and on."  We just are.  We've been married for 13+ years.  We've weathered a pretty decent handful of life crises, over work, family, parenting, or whatever -- and we've survived.  We haven't had Munson's issues, and, after reading her memoir, our life almost seems dull because we haven't.  I'm not suggesting that we haven't had some really intense arguments, that we haven't ever gone to bed angry -- but our worst fight ever was over our differing positions on gun control (I'll never tell who was on which side!).  It kept us up all night, and it totally felt insurmountable.  Yes, we've had financial stress from time to time.  We even had (have) a high-needs kid, one who had a significant number of medical issues -- talk about stress!  We've had challenges, and we've gone to bed sad, and angry, and frustrated, and yes, we've fought.  But we've never moved away from each other, physically or emotionally.  We've seen it happen to friends, and, sometimes, we can see how it happens.  Jobs are stressful, having a family to support is stressful, having other people need is stressful -- whether it's needing you, your income, your presence, whatever.  Some people can weather it.  Some can't.  Some can't and then do anyway, like Munson.  If I knew how to pick the winners and the losers, I could put divorce lawyers out of business!  Of course, no one knows the secret to what makes love and marriage work, but I do know what has made it work for me, from my perspective (I can't presume to speak for my husband), and here's what I think:

    Like the scripture says (1 Corinthians 13), love is patient, and love is kind.  To me, that means that love doesn't mean sunshine and roses every day; it means that sometimes, storm clouds and rain are needed to bring forth the rainbows and the flowers.  Not every day can be perfect.  And kindness, most especially on those less-than-perfect days, is essential.  That means acknowledging that, as a couple, you have the best intentions -- and that you assume the best of each other, not that one is out to one-up the other.  There is no "winner" in a partnership.  

    In that same passage, love is described as something which "keeps no record of wrongs."  (This varies depending on the version of Bible you use; mine is a newer one, and I prefer this phrasing.)  My husband imagines that there is some typewriter in the sky that produces a transcript of every conversation so that, when he dies, God can check it and prove him right.  I just know that, if we're in disagreement, I'm obviously right; I don't need the transcript.  I say these things in jest, but, isn't this the trap into which we all often fall, whether it's with spouses or family or friends -- or even our kids?  This is why letting go matters.  There are a very big lot of people in this world who hold grudges.  I think most of them are actually in my family.  (Remember: let it go.)  The fact of the matter is that, if we all love each other, what we said or did yesterday doesn't matter, even if we said it two weeks ago and two months ago and two years ago, too.  What matters is loving each other.  We all screw up!  And we all need forgiveness, not to be held by our ankles over a barrel of piranhas, made to suffer so that the other person in disagreement with us can make some kind of point.  There is no "winner" in a family. 

    And then comes the most beautiful part of that verse: "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails."   What truer could be said of a good, strong marriage?  I read this passage to say that loving someone is going to involve bearing things and enduring things -- but also shared hope and shared faith.  Love wins over everything else.

    There's a reason I had these verses read at my wedding some 13 years ago, and it's that I do think that the essence of any good relationship, especially a marriage, is found in those precepts.  We don't sit around reading the Bible most nights to remember these things, but they're part of us because we have a fundamental desire to be on each other's team.  That doesn't mean that we don't ever need alone time, but it does mean that, if one of us changes paths, we take the time to get the other's buy-in -- or stay the course, if the other doesn't wish to deviate.  Marriage does involve a certain amount of self-sacrifice, but, in the successful ones, that sacrifice is in the interest of the greater partnership, which is higher-order than ourselves.  When love is true, it's worth it. 

*****

    While our book club doesn't review books, I always like to add a note regarding whether or not I'd recommend the book.  And for this one, I really don't know.  If your marriage is in crisis and you need to know you're not alone, maybe.  But the overall tone, to me, was very indulgent, and I also felt the writing was choppy and, at times, hard to read.  I loathe sentence fragments, and they're rife in books as "chatty" as this one.  I just didn't feel like Munson was speaking to me, and, frankly, I don't think that she was.  Share this book with a friend who's husband is acting like an a$$, perhaps; that's a great audience for it.

With the closure of the Silicon Valley Moms Group comes a new book club, From Left to Write!  Founded by former SV Moms partner Linsey Krolik, our club will continue more or less along the lines of the SV Moms group one: we'll read books together and then write blog posts about them, not reviewing the works but, rather, responding to them with our own writing.  For participation in the club, I receive the books for free but do not receive other compensation nor do I commit to writing favorably about the books.  The opinions expressed are mine and mine alone.