Rox and Roll

A Celebration of that which Matters

Love, at Burning Man 2013

This year, I planned to lay-low on Valentine's Day. It remains my favorite holiday (of 34 years and counting!), but this year, life caught up with me and nixed any plans of a big celebration. I'm overwhelmed with a million little details, also known as death by a thousand papercuts: loads of work, loads of kid stuff, loads of life-moving-on matters. It's not a complaint; I'm just my least favorite word ever: busy.

Of course, that's when life shows up to show me that "busy" isn't what matters.

What matters is my mom visiting town and spending quality time with grandkids that has enabled me to plow through work at unprecedented efficiency while also having time for a quality social life that is too-often on the back burner. What matters is my brother and his wife bringing mom from her weekend at their new place for a hand-off in church, and our sitting through church as a family before dining together afterward -- and knowing that I get to see my brother and sister-in-law again sooner than usual since they live nearby now. What matters is my son climbing on my lap today at lunchtime even though he barely fits anymore -- and how he rested his head on my shoulder for just long enough for me to soak it up. What matters is my don't-touch-me-teen giving me a hug every night before bed in much the same manner, unsolicited and on her own time but never missing. What matters is bumping into a girlfriend randomly yesterday and taking ten minutes on a park bench to sit with her and catch up -- long enough time to share some important feelings with her and for her to hug me because I'm in such a good place inside myself right now, and she sensed that. (It's been so long in coming.) What matters is connecting with old friends over Facebook and cheering each other on as we celebrate singlehood and all of its mixed blessings, including highly bizarre dating stories that I imagine we'd have been giggling about in our college dorm rooms over late-night spiked-coffee in much the same manner. What matters is feeling just as good -- no, better -- at 40 as I did at 20, because I know who I am, and I know what I want from life, and darned if I don't actually like myself as-is, at long last. What matters is sharing my as-is self with someone who actually not only accepts me but also celebrates me that way. What matters is suspending cynicism and fear and diving into that good feeling head-first without a life vest. What matters is knowing that there are hoards of people who will toss me a line if I come to need one. What matters is being pretty sure that I won't need one this time around.

What matters is sitting here right this moment, taking a deep breath, and realizing that I am where I am supposed to be. I am who I want to be. I am surrounded by people about whom I care and who care about me. I am loved. And my heart is beating again. I thought that, perhaps, I had walled it off successfully. I have never been so happy to be wrong.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, dear readers. May you find love at unexpected times and in unexpected places and among the smallest details, not only on this day, but every day. xo

What I Want for Mother's Day: A Letter to My Kids

Dear Petunia and Dash,

Someday you will learn how babies are made, and it will not match with my theory, which is that life-creation involves the removal of a piece of a mother's heart, the attachment of arms and legs to it, the performance of some real abracadabra-type magic, and then the turning lose of one's offspring to roam about the world.  Tah-dah!  And at the center of it all is still your mama's heart, pulsing blood through your own veins.  The very primal bond between mother and child is one that nothing can break -- nothing, as in no matter what tantrum you throw, Dash, over your ice cream cone falling on the floor, or your tween mumblings, Petunia, over how late friends can stay up when I still make you go to bed far too early.  All of the eye-rolling and foot-stomping in the world cannot change that my heart beats in your bodies and will long after I am gone.

Fortunately, we have so very little of those tough moments.  I have been blessed with two children who, by the grace of God, actually get along with each other and with me.  Your relationship with each other, especially, is something that my own friends comment on regularly.  I feel a bit sad when folks act like it is a surprise for siblings to love each other above all else.  I think it happened because I expected you to love each other -- nothing more, nothing less.  And since you both share pieces of that same heart, how could you not?  It beats in rhythm.  You will always have each other.

Last week, a friend asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, and I realized that I had no clue -- no wish list, no plans, no idea.  Perhaps it is because of this grueling move, but I really did not want to plan an adventure of the usual magnitude.  I thought of how important natural beauty has been to me this past year, so we will spend my day surrounded by it oceanside.  I am sure it will be a lovely day.

But what I really want from you this year has nothing to do with location, or what we eat, or gifts, or how late I get to sleep in tomorrow (which, judging by Dash's presence in my bed, might not be late at all).  What I want is for you to know, deep in your hearts, that you are surrounded by love -- that you came from a place of great love and desire for you to exist and that no matter how that place has changed, the love that everyone from that place has for you has not changed at all.  And when you look at each other tomorrow and the next day and the next year, and then the time years from now when you are aunt and uncle to each other's kids, I want you to see a connection that time nor space nor family changes can break -- a connection that is so much bigger than your individual selves.  Always, always, always see each other as blessings, confidantes, and pieces of a much bigger whole.  Know that bedrock of family is always there in the hearts of all of its members and especially in the bond between you siblings that no shape-shifting ever will force apart.  You are part of each other, connected heart to heart.  Love each other fiercely and forever.  That love will never let you down.

I am far from a perfect mother, but, when I look at the two of you, I get a bit self-congratulatory.  Hooray!  I did something exactly right.  Twice.  And then I see you look at each other, and I know exactly what love is, and so do you.  Take good care of that heart that I gave you and use it as well as you can not only for each other but to love our magnificent world and all of its people with all of their flaws in spite of it all. 

That is your mama's heart right there: believing so hard that the world is a good place full of good people that I was willing to turn you loose in it.  Use those hearts now to perpetuate the belief in the goodness and worth in all of us, having each other's back all along the way.  That is the mother's day gift I seek this year.

Love,

Mama xo xo

 

 

Love looks different now

Valentine's Day has been my favorite holiday since I was six years old.  What's not to love about love?  Everybody loves somebody, right?  So, as usual, my house is bedazzled with red, pink and white hearts galore; love is in the air here, as it always was.  I look at my kids: love.  They look at each other: love.  Then there's a dog: all about love.  Even the guinea pig radiates love, with his little whistling and wheeking sounds. There's love in the food I cook for us, there's love in the nightly tuck-ins and stories read, there's love in the kiss-on-the-forehead wake-up calls, and there's love in snuggling under blankets to watch old Get Smart episodes on a Saturday morning.

But for me, of course, love looks different now.  I have no "Valentine" -- well, except for Dash, who reminds me pretty regularly that he's my Valentine, though I suspect that may be to avoid saying "yes" to a particularly persistent second grade girl.  (You go, girlfriend.  Future leader of men right there!)  And yet, this year, I don't know that I've ever felt more loved.  It's such a bizarre juxtaposition: singlehood and feeling loved. I think I couldn't have imagined it before because I've never been in this position.  Yet in part because of friends' communal embrace, and even more so because of my own journey of self-awareness, I've realized that alone isn't so lonely after all -- and that the greatest love actually comes from comfort in your own skin, a belief in yourself, and peace within.  It's when you tell yourself that you matter and truly don't need anyone else to reinforce that message.  It's when you know that you're trying your hardest to be your best self and working at living a good and authentic life.  It's when you look in the mirror and know that someday, you'll have another Valentine, and it'll be someone who accepts what's looking back at you, with all of her wonder and all of her flaws, too -- and knowing that if that's not the case, that's not The One.

More than anything, this past couple of years has been an eye-opener for me about what love is and what love is not.  I think we learn the difference just by living -- and failing, and getting back up again, and saying: I am going to love the world tomorrow anyway, because that's what I do.  Love looks different now, but love is love is love. 

Happy Valentine's Day to You. - xo - Rox

Christmas by Night

As I tucked in my children tonight, I read to them from the book of Matthew, reminding us all of the birth story that begat today's celebrations.  Though it is the story of the joyous birth of our Christ, it holds in it some rather dark elements.  King Herod sends his wisest men to locate this newborn baby, whom he perceives to be a threat to his authority; Herod intends to kill Jesus, but the wise men -- wise to his plan -- do not assist him and, likely putting their own lives in jeopardy, never report back.  Joseph, Mary, and Jesus flee to Egypt, returning to Israel only after Herod's death, remaining in fear of the son who ruled after him.  In some ways, the New Testament could read like a mystery novel, one in which forces against Jesus try and try again to bring him down.  (Of course, they eventually succeed -- but we do not need to go there, as Easter is months away.)

What parallels this story has to life right now, whether my own personal story or that of the goings-on in the world.  When I read this piece by Max Lucado -- one of my favorite kids' authors for his fables with a strong moral message -- my heart grew at once heavy and hopeful.  Lucado writes, "Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day.  Won't you enter ours?  We are weary of bloodshed.  We, like the wise men, are looking for a star.  We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.  This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us." 

In a world where violence is ever present, where children are being taken in what ought to be sacred and safe space, how profound is that message: we are looking for a star.  We seek a light.  We search for a way out of the darkness in which we could drown if we closed our eyes and let it consume us.  We hope for a better world.

I found the light this holiday season -- or, rather, it found me.  It came to the sound of a gentle knock as a friend placed poinsettias, a wreath, and doormat on my stoop -- alongside a delicious dinner.  It continued with another friend with whom I shared one of the best child-free meals out and deepest conversations I have had in a long time.  It kept going as holiday card after holiday card arrived addressed to me in my own "original" name, some with the kindest letters and notes of support I could have ever imagined.  It grew with the arrival of my "big sister" from Sweden, a former exchange student whom I adore who traversed halfway across the globe to be with us for just a couple of days.  It blossomed in the Christmas pageant, where my heart beamed as my angel Gabriel (Petunia) and my little shepard (Dash) delivered their lines with such joy.  And it kept on rolling right through this Christmas day, when my greatest gift came in the form of a visit from a dear college friend and his lovely family; nothing can make a home glow quite like a two year-old and a six year-old, alongside my own twelve and seven year-olds, with an unlimited cookie supply!

Plus, of course, there were the lights -- literally.  I stepped out of my front door one afternoon to find myself surrounded by them, from my handrails to my doorway to the gables of my roof.  A friend had sent a light-hanger to be-Christmas my house.  I think the only tears I shed this season were while watching my kids' eyes as they saw them light up for the first time.  Awestruck does not even cover it!  It was as if I got to watch them getting infused with the Christmas spirit -- a special and magical event that I could never replicate if I tried.

Most importantly -- most impressively, perhaps -- aside from those few tears of joy, I spent this holiday season waiting for tears that never came, waiting for ache that I never felt, waiting for the hurt that I anticipated -- waiting, in a sense, to suffer.  What a shame that I wasted that time during a season of such joy.  What a shame, really, that I thought I should suffer at all.  It is as if I lost my own light.  It is my great fortune that others see it and shine it back at me when I am in my times of greatest need for that reminder.

It has been a dark year, likely my own darkest ever.  And yet, I sit here by a glowing fire, warmed even more by the love of family and friends, knowing that I have chosen to emerge from the darkness unbroken and whole into a world that I will continue to refuse to see as dark, and, poignantly, one in which I refuse to accept suffering as the norm.  The Zen proverb says "Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional."  I choose to be strong.  I choose to remember my inner light that comes from being secure with who I am and with what I need, and especially with how I act and interact in the world. 

Max Lucado is right, Jesus was born in darkness -- and yet, a Star lit the path of all who sought Him.  My Christmas prayer this year, for myself and for all who have struggled of late to make sense of the world, is that when we are lost, we find the light -- whether it is the Light of God or the light within ourselves that reminds us of why we are here: to love each other and to be of good use to one another.  And I give extra thanks this year for the friends who shone that light on me when I refused to find it myself.  A new year lies ahead, and I am excited to begin anew.

The Holiday Post that Wasn't

I have written half a dozen holiday posts, and I have scrapped every one.  In them, I have tried to explain why I chose not to write a gift guide this year; and, while I can offer a hundred reasons, let's just stick to the declarative "I didn't write a gift guide this year."  (Click the "gift guides" category on the right of the screen if you would like to see past ones.  They're long, good, and still quite current.)  Meanwhile, I tried to write about plans made, new traditions forming, and, of course, the elephant in the room: celebrating the holidays for the first time as a single parent.  And I just cannot get a post out about any of these things.  My feelings are too personal, the sentiments too raw, and the most important reality is that, despite that elephant, I know in both my brain and in my heart that I am about to have another magical Christmas with my two superkids.  It is tempting to wallow in the negatives, but hey -- stirring up handmade soap in the kitchen tonight, watching Dash wrinkle his nose as he chose scents and seeing Petunia's caution as she dripped in the coloring and checked to see if the molds had set, I suddenly smelled something in my house, and do you know what?  It smelled a lot like a very Merry Christmas going on, right under my nose.  (Achoo.  Soap-making is not for the sneezy!)

And in that moment, I found my holiday spirit. 

It started creeping up on me in church today, when I led the teens' "bagels and bibles" session and recounted a lesson that I remember from my own Sunday School days: that of how people came to know Jesus.  The shepherds, told by an Angel to be unafraid, approached Bethlehem with curiosity, said one of my teens.  Herod, upon hearing the news of the birth of a new King, likely felt protective, threatened, and hostile, chimed in a few others.  The magi, ordered to investigate by Herod, approached with skepticism, suggested another child.  Upon seeing the newborn king, born in the humblest of circumstances to the most ordinary of people, the curious shepherds and the skeptical magi left full of wonder, rejoicing and praising God.  Herod never did get word of where to find the baby, for the magi never reported back on his location, aware, through divine intervention, of their boss's hostile intent.  This mirrors being a Christian today: there are some who go out into the world believing in and proclaiming the good news of our faith  There are those who are hostile to that message.  For a practicing Christian like me, what matters is in how I respond to that challenge.

Funny, then, that, as I settled in tonight to reflect on my day, with the house full of the smell of cinnamon-sugar and fresh pine, I realized that the lesson I shared with my teens today is exactly the message of Christmas (and life, actually) that I needed to receive.  I approached this holiday wondering how I will get through it, curious about how the kids will act and react to their life change amid holiday hoopla, and skeptical that I can offer something on my own that will measure up.  At times, hostility threatened, and yet, I refused to make room for it in my home.  We put up our tree, and Petunia hung the star.  Grandma strung the lights and swept up the falling pine needles again and again and again.

And, what do you know, something amazing happened: amid my humbler circumstances, a sense of wonder and rejoicing surfaced in a most unexpected way.  My heart became more full than ever, and I felt closer to my kids as well as to my faith.  That is the miracle of birth: a renewed sense of faith that life goes on, no matter what.  As our family of three looks toward 2013, I am full of hope that this sense of warmth, love, faith, and service that fills my heart today will take up permanent residence.  It is welcome, and I am ready.

Wishing you and yours a most blessed holiday season, a sense of fulfillment as this year ends, and your own renewal, should you seek it, in the next one.  

Thankful in ways I never imagined

A year ago, our family of four celebrated our last Thanksgiving as a together family.  I remember it so vividly.  With no extended family in town, we decided to splurge on the local Four Seasons, enjoying most especially a dessert buffet that filled an entire room.  We never took the kids to places like that, and the impression lasted.  Huge smiles, thanks shared, especially for one another... It was one of the happiest holidays I'd experienced with our family.  Yet it was a mere three days later that life as I knew it changed forever.  Especially post-9-11, I should have known that life could change in an instant, but, in my naivete, I never thought it would happen to me -- not to this happy family, captured in an iPhone snapshot, standing by the chocolate fountain with smiles exuding love and gratitude.

Approaching Thanksgiving this year, my emotions are high, knowing that I want to make it an extra-special day for Petunia and Dash, who wanted to return to the Four Seasons; but I knew such a thing would exceed my emotional capacity.  Then, blessedly, the invitations started pouring in.  A friend who has become like a bonus sister is hosting her first-ever Thanksgiving at her home, in honor of her late mother who always hosted the big day.  "We're bringing together those we love and hold dear," she wrote. "Join us."  I accepted, offering to bring a tray of let's-pretend-it's-traditional mac-n-cheese -- the only Thanksgiving food that I'm sure Dash will eat -- and a pumpkin custard, and some special surprise appetizer that I hope to have figured out by the time this post is published.

Context is everything, really.  Spending Thanksgiving with a friend who's experienced multiple losses in the past couple of years seems appropriate.  I know I am not alone in my pain, just as I know we will all share in the joy that a houseful of kids and friends and family always breeds.  Somehow, we'll get through the day with what I'm sure will be loads of laughs, and then, somehow, we'll get through Christmas, and next year, and the year after that.  I know that.  It's just hard to forget that our reality has changed when I still have the picture in my head of something completely different.  New pictures will be taken, new memories will be forged, and someday, it'll get easier.  But this Thanksgiving, I'm not going to pretend like everything is swell.  It's weird, and it hurts, and it's all wrong, and God, it's not even Christmas -- and yet, it's my new normal.

What I can do that's positive is to focus deeply on my own thankfulness, and I'm thankful now in ways I never imagined.  My "sisters," they have been lifesavers in ways I cannot bring myself to write.  There are a few "brothers" in there, too, who have shown up in some pretty magnificent ways.  There's my family, especially my parents, who have taken a lot of trips West just to be here with us, to help fill the void a little and to offer some relief and some extra love.  There's my dog -- my sweet, ever-loving, furry third child -- who is just so ... herself.  So Lola.  So hysterically funny, and affectionate, and wildly entertaining.  There are friends all around the world who check in, who distract, who pray.  There are two jobs, a huge church family, food and shelter and a working fireplace ... stories to read, hot chocolate to share, snickerdoodles and giggles and so very much love.

And there are the two most important people in the world for whom I am thankful: two kids who came into this world from a place of great love and, each day, make me want to be a better person.  They are my reason for getting out of bed, for doing good work, for being my best self, for living with integrity and purpose.  They make me want to make the world a better place not for them, but with them.  They are so fundamentally good.  They are grace at work before my very eyes -- their glistening, happy, hopeful eyes in which I see a reflection of God in His heaven declaring that all is right with the world.  Even when it doesn't feel like it.  Even when the Thanksgivings I envisioned are FUBAR.  Even when I don't know when I'll say that I'm okay and really mean it.

Friends, readers, hold your loved ones a little tighter this holiday season.  I don't encourage everyone to treat every holiday like it might be the last -- but what if we did?  Would we worry less about menus and decorations and the ideal of perfection and perhaps laugh a little louder, delve a little deeper into sharing that gratitude, create some memories that'll be the stories we tell our grandkids one day?  Would we care a little less about the condition of the house and more about the condition of the people in it? 

I'm not ever going to be thankful for this blind turn my life has taken, but I sure am thankful for the belief in myself that has been borne from it.  I'm thankful that I get to live a healthy, happy, fulfilling life in spite of it all.  And yes, I'm still thankful for chocolate fountains, mountains of happy memories, and many more to come -- well, perhaps minus the chocolate fountain, though I'm pretty sure that made it onto someone's Santa list.  And that there is what I'm increasingly most thankful for: perspective.  For the kids, it's all about the sweets, whether it be chocolate or kisses, as well it should be for all of us.  Have a blessedly fulfilling Thanksgiving, all.

The Rox and Roll Gift Guide 2011: Think Different

I have a confession to make: Generally speaking, I'm shopping-averse.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm approaching 40 and finally rejecting a culture of consumerism, or if it's because my favorite gifts are those of experiences; I'd always rather do something than buy something.  Or maybe, as a woman of faith, it is not lost on me that the Reason for the Season is not somewhere in Housewares, or even in Target at all.  But I do love this season in which I can choose little unique somethings to express my appreciation for family as well as for a family of friends who enrich my life experience every day.  And while I could show a dear friend that I am mad talented by gifting her with that very special carefully-selected something from her pre-approved Amazon wish list, sometimes I like to go off of the menu and show my appreciation differently.

So ... drum roll please ... I introduce you to theme adopted for this year's Rox and Roll Gift Guide: Think Different.  (Yes, I know that's an advertising slogan created for Apple in 1997.  I didn't say I made it up.  I said I adopted it.)

Here we go:

Subscription commerce: This is the new term for "_____ of the month" club.  Forget fruit: these days, there are options for monthly anything.  No matter who you're gifting or the price you want to spend, there will be something just right.  I ordered three to try in November for the purposes of this list.  Of the three, I recommend two: Foodzie (written up below) and Birchbox, which is monthly trial-size cosmetics box.  I'm also going to be trying Blissmo, organic and eco-friendly products that I discovered at San Francisco's Green Fest.

About my favorite, Foodzie: I squealed with delight when I opened my November Foodzie box, pictured at right.  When I subscribed, it was $19.99/month -- totally worth it.  I learned after the fact that the November and December boxes would be at that old price-point but jacked up to bigger sizes, and then the price woudl rise to match the box at $29.99, which, to me, is discouraging.  That said, I will give it as a gift on occasion for sure; it'll be a great teacher gift, hostess gift, birthday surprise, etc.  In November's box: pickled figs by Boat Street Pickles, dried cranberries by Willow's Cranberries; fruit and nut crostini by Anjou Bakery; garlic onion pistachios by Fiddyment Farms; pistachio and almond nougat by Vadeboncoeur Nougat; and cornmeal pancake and muffin mix by the Nitty Gritty Grain Co. -- ALL things that I'll enjoy immensely.  If there's a foodie in your life, this is the right gift.

(P.S. For more subscription commerce ideas, check out this link on Sean Percival's blog.)

***

Betabrand clothing: For years, the Guv has waned a DARPA hoodie.  Why?  Apparently, it's the fusion of science and fashion.  In other words, he's a nerd, and he only wears red t-shirts, so, dear God, please let someone buy him this for Christmas, maybe in blue?

Meanwhile, Betabrand is so crazy that they actually sell something called Discopants.  If anyone buys those for the Guv, s/he has to take him out when he wears them, 'cause I won't.

***

The morning-after basket: So you're going to a party, and you're tempted to grab a bottle of wine.  Or, if you're like me, you're tempted to stop at the store on the way to the party and pick up something like Ouzo, 'cause you know nobody else will bring that.  Unless your hosts are hard-core dish-breaking Greek alcoholics, they'll appreciate a morning-after basket much more; plus, nobody else will think of it -- so it's like Ouzo, but healthy!  Someone did this for us after a party, and it blew me away; she had baked huge, awesome muffins and packed them in a basket with fresh fruit, coffee, and a single-cup french press.  It was so nice to wake up in the morning to a special treat after a late-night of post-party clean-up!  And every time I re-use the basket or the french press, I remember who gave it to me.

***

A bald eagle: For my conservationist/ecology-minded friends, I'm giving them something they'll love this year: bald eagles.  No, not real ones, silly, that'd be dangerous!  Instead, I'm sponsoring some in their honor through Vermont Institute of Natural Science's bird adoptions. This place and its birds are very near and dear to my heart, as my kids have enjoyed summer camps at VINS for five years and counting.  Their raptor center is truly amazing, with rescued birds ranging from a pair of bald eagles to sawheet owls to songbirds.  Since Vermont was hit so hard during Hurricane Irene, I worry greatly that charitable giving to this phenomental center will suffer -- so I'll be supporting their holiday adoption specials this year for extended family and teacher gifts.  Why should YOU care about VINS?  Their environmental educators and wildlife rehabilitation specialists are among the best in the world.  When's the last time you saw a raptor center?  Protecting our natural habitat is paramount, and these folks are on the front lines.  I am grateful for their service to our earth.  (Psst: If you have a Harry Potter fan in your house, you can also adopt Hedwig, aka a barred owl.)

***

Uncommon Goods: Pick anything -- seriously, just about anything.  This is, bar none, my favorite catalogue from which I rarely order anything but covet everything.  My favorite things this year: The Corkcicle wine-chilling icicle; the 7 deadly sins shot glasses, because face it: everyone drinks boring old wine at parties, but you could be a hero if you brought these and a bottle of Old Number 7; and just so y'all don't start thinking I only conjure up gifts having to do with ETOH, here are some crocheted headphones for your teenaged babysitter who dresses like Janis Joplin.  

***

Prayer cube: Perfect for households of faith, especially for godchildren, we have fun with these "prayer die" in my house.  We use the table grace one, and there is also one for daily prayers and one for bedtime prayers.  This Episcopal Bookstore on-line has lots of nice faith-based gifts for those so inclined.

***

For the Occupiers: If you have a friend on the front lines of the Occupy Movement or on any picket line, here's a fun gift: a book called "Good Chants for a Lively Picket Line."  The website selling it, Syracuse Cultural Workers, has a lot of fun and unusual stuff, including a "Build Community" tee that is a wardrobe staple for me.

***

The Fiesta Disc Pitcher: A Piece of American History: Fiesta Dinnerware is made by the Homer Laughlin China Company in Newell, West Virginia.  You've probably eaten off of their dishes at restaurants galore and might be surprised to find out that instead of paying Macy's prices, you can shop factory direct on-line.  I grew up just down the street from the Fiesta factory and have eaten off of these dishes since my aunt and uncle gifted me with an overfull set for my wedding in 1997.  Using Fiestaware makes me feel closer to home, and, as I buy additions and replacements over the years, I feel really good knowing that Americans from my hometown are employed making this awesome stuff.  I'm big on "think global, act local" and stock my house with as much as I can in support of my native Appalachia.  (Fenton Glass is another West Virginian one for those who enjoy it.)

***

Fairy House Kits: There's something about this time of year that makes me want to hold on to the magical beliefs in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, leprechauns, and yes, even the Easter Bunny.  At the Dickens Fair in San Francisco, Petunia and I picked up a fairy house kit to build together.  While I'm not really sure I believe that fairies are putting knots in her hair just because she's not leaving her shoes pointed in the right direction before she goes to bed (someone told us that once and totally seriously too), I do like the notion of providing space for their imagination -- even at age 11.  The fairy house vendor linked to here is not the one from which we purchased our kit but looks very similar; she also sells on Etsy.  In any event, I think this is a great gift for anyone in your life who remains a dreamer, from school-aged through advanced-age. 

***

Prints Charming: Made by Etsy store Poppy and Pinecone, two prints hang beside our bed in both our East and West Coast homes: one of Vermont with a heart in the center, and one of California with a heart in the center.  It's an artistic expression of our bicoastal life and love.  Especially for someone living far from home -- perhaps a college student -- these prints are heartfelt reminders of a special place.  Equally special and surprising are prints by the big harumph, also on Etsy.  We own "rush less, play more," "imagination is everything," "today is the day," and some images.  I'm a big fan of little reminders.

***

A Three-Way Gift: Get your mind out of the gutter.  I'm referencing charitable donations here: a gift from you to someone else that benefits a third party.  Personally, I'm a big believer in supporting local needs, which is why we support Vermont Institute of Natural Sciences, mentioned earlier, as well as Vermont Foodbank, the Ecumenical Hunger Program here in Silicon Valley, and the Shelter Network, also here in Silicon Valley.  For ideas on charities to support, get some ideas from Charity Navigator, described thus: "Charity Navigator, America's premiere independent charity evaluator, works to advance a more efficient and responsive philanthropic marketplace by evaluating the Financial Health and Accountability and Transparency of America's largest charities."  Check them out to make sure that your dollar is being stretched as far as possible.

***

Thanks for checking out the 2011 Rox and Roll Gift Guide.  If you're still fishing for that perfect gift, might I suggest The 2009 Rox and Roll Gift Guide: Stuff for Adults or Stuff for Kids, or The 2010 Rox and Roll Gift Guide: Gifts for a Cause, Books, Movies, Games, In-Home Experiences, Out-of-Home Experiences, Play, and Gratitude.

Happy Holidays!

Holidays ... huh?

I cannot believe that it is November.  In fact, I cannot even believe that it is actually autumn.  I do not know how Halloween happened.  In fact, it barely happened.  I have two bins of Halloween decorations, one that remained untouched and the other cracked open moments before trick-or-treaters rang the bell.  Somehow we had some decorations, and the kids had costumes, and the trick-or-treaters happened ... and then today, someone mentioned Thanksgiving.

Huh?

Maybe it's being back to work that has me so uninspired ... but that has barely started.  Maybe it's the knowledge that we're alone for Thanksgiving, and alone for Christmas, and not travelling for either, that has made me this chill about the holidays.  Yeah, that's it, I'm chill.

Which is code for denial.

Friends are posting "pinterests" of skittle-flavored vodka gifts and holiday decor projects.  Family members have called to declare their shopping complete.  Complete! 

Which is code for: "Rox, you'd better get on that."

I'm thinking that this year, we need to wake up on Christmas morning with one thing in each stocking: a plane ticket to someplace unexpected -- someplace warm, someplace where our tiny dog is welcome, someplace where we'll all be happy to be.

But there are still a gazillion relatives to buy gifts for, and hundreds of cards that won't make or address themselves, and, and, and.

It's not that I'm all "bah, humbug," but, well, I kind of am.  I don't care for turkey -- none of us do -- and I try to express gratitude regularly, so Thanksgiving?  Contrived, to me.  And Christmas?  I believe in the Reason for the Season, and I really love picking special gifts for people -- really, really love making people happy.  But if I have to go to one more store where I already hear Christmas music playing before Thanksgiving is even here, I'm going to scream.  I shopping on-line this year, Macy's; leave me alone.

And just when I thought: okay, I have an action plan: start the photobooks next week, take the annual picture on the next sunny day, have gifts ordered by the end of the month, I get a message in my inbox:

"What are your kids doing for summer camp?"

In November.

Rox, you'd better get on that.

Holiday Gift Guide Wrap-Up

Before I conclude this 2010 gift guide, I have two more installments: gifts for play experiences (toys!), and gifts of experiences reflecting gratitude (teachers, coaches, etc.) ... but since Christmas is um, tomorrow, I'm offering some quick-hit tips on those items, followed by a wrap-up.  Next year, I'm planning a much smaller, simpler gift guide. ; )  For now, here are some last-minute tips on toys and treats:

Gifts for Play Experiences:

• Games are my favorite gifts to give and to receive, both for my kids and for myself.  Click here to read my post devoted solely to games.
• Puzzles are always a winning gift, too, especially if they're high-quality Ravensberger puzzles, which are made in Germany and are surprisingly affordable.  For even higher-end, higher-quality, Artifact Puzzles are made in the USA out of beautiful wood.  I like these as gifts especially for siblings; it's a coming-together activity that my 5- and 10-year old can enjoy together in these years when their play otherwise goes in different directions.
• Do you know a teen who loves gadgets and tinkering?  They might love some tavern puzzles, also made in the USA.  These really are gifts for one (not a party game!); part of the reason I like them is that it's something that's not screen-driven and requires hands-on manipulation to solve -- something to which today's older kids aren't often exposed.
• The Earth Friends dolls made my gift guide last year, and they're on the list again this year because we really, really love them; Petunia saved her allowance for months to buy another one at this year's GreenFest (they can be ordered on-line, too).  I have nothing against American Girl dolls, but these dolls offer a little environmental education in addition to being made in an ecoconscious way; I'll take that anyday over overpriced plastic from China!
• Legos in any form are always an awesome gift, but my new favorite Lego thing are the Lego Brickmaster books.  It's the size of a high school textbook but stores enough Legos to make the patterns (a dozen or so) in the attached guide.  Dash asked for a million Star Wars Legos for Christmas, but he also asked for a million other things -- and voila!  The Lego Star Wars Brickmaster book has patterns in it for all of the kits he asked for ... won't be exactly the same, but it's a heck of a lot more portable.  Legos are great for solo or group play, and nothing inspires my kids' imagination as much as building their own virtual worlds; I love it when they do this with manipulatives instead of on the computer or Wii.

Gifts of gratitude:

• AmEx gift cards: As a room parent this year, I was in charge of our class's holiday gifts for the teacher and her aide.  Because we have further appreciation events coming up (e.g. Staff Appreciation, which is a whole Week at our school and is highly personalized), I conferred with other parents and decided to keep this holiday gift simple: collect money for a gift card and tie it to a plant with a card signed by the class.  Our mall offers no-expiration AmEx gift cards (used to be no fee, too, but now they're $3); so the teachers can use these cards however they want for whatever they want whenever they want it!  Visa also offers cards, but they expire over time ... boo for that.
• Other gift cards: I like to give small-amount gift cards and gift certificates to others who work at the school or who make my kids' days more pleasant.  These I pick up from Amazon, Starbucks, local coffee shops (Philz!), local yogurt/ice cream shops (Fraiche!) -- and I found that, at the end of the year, a lot of these places offered great deals.  For example, if you bought 10 $10 gift cards at Fraiche, you received two free two-topping yogurts.  If you bought a $50 gift card from Philz, you got 20% off.  It's easy to find out where your teachers, coaches, music lesson providers, etc. like to dine out; and what a treat to be able to do that on someone else's dime for a change!
• Classroom Needs:  Back in New Jersey, I once flat-out asked a teacher what she liked to receive as a holiday gift.  She went on a long rant about how many baked goods, chocolates, tote bags, mugs, and ornaments teachers receive, when, really, what they usually want is stuff for their classrooms that aren't part of the school budget.  In this teacher's case, she wanted some subscriptions to literary magazines for use in her classroom (they had a library set, but they couldn't leave the library).  When I was a kid, I remember taking in kleenex, etc. to kick off the year; in our school now, that's provided, but sometimes teachers want things different: Clorox wipes for desk cleaning, for example.  In sum, ask you teacher (whether it's a school one, a Sunday school one, or a music teacher) if they have any teaching needs.  If all else fails, a gift card to Oriental Trading Co. (online) or an office supply store is sure to be well-received.
• Tickets: Our competitive soccer team has a paid coach, a young guy who cobbles together other jobs to make room for his love of soccer.  While our team gifted him with a gift card this year, I was thinking he might've enjoyed tickets to a pro soccer game.  He also might've enjoyed a Live Nation gift certificate to choose a concert to attend.  (This isn't just an appropriate gift of gratitude -- it's a great gift for anyone, especially someone who needs a night out!)
• Donations: A couple of years ago, I gave our teachers "FEED" bags with a treat tucked inside.  Teachers have plenty of tote bags, true; but these bags with a message (fighting hunger) might be an exception to the no-totebag rule.  Think about a cause your teacher, coach, or whoever cares about -- illiteracy, child health, Head Start, music lesson access, etc. -- and there's probably a way to make a donation to a cause and score a memento to gift in the process.

And with that, I'm out of ideas as well as time!  I hope you enjoyed this year's gift guide.  Next year, shorter, sweeter, and earlier for sure...  Meanwhile, if you're celebrating, best wishes for the merriest Christmas ever and a fantastic 2011!

Cross-posted on Good Stuff Rox

Holiday Gift Guide, Part Four: Gifts of Gifts of Family Experiences Away from Home

This is the gift guide that never ends.  Next year, I'm doing only one: not parts, not as many options, just my very favorite things, kind of like Oprah but, well, not.

But, this year, I have so much that I want to share with you.  In fact, I wish that I could give away all of these gift-guide things, Oprah-style.  Alas, I cannot, but I can give you some ideas for how to have some good fun that is funny, as Dr. Seuss would say.  So, without further ado, I bring you this installment, subtitled: Stuff your family really wants to do!

Look, we can all shop, and buy stuff, and wrap it, and, perhaps, even love it.  But if I get one more cheap sweatsuit, I just might have to hurt somebody.  I'd much rather have the opportunity to sweat.  (Yes, one's pleasure is another's pain.  Moving on...)  One year, I gave myself the gift of snowboarding lessons.  It gave me back the gift of a bruise in the shape of Africa on my backside that lasted 6+ weeks.  It also gave me the distinct, memorable experience of watching my husband, the Guv, mouth agape, eyes wide, say the words: "In a million years, I never thought I'd ever see you do something like that" (re: the snowboarding, not the bruise, which remains a laughingstock). 

This year, think about giving someone you love the opportunity to bruise something, break a bone, burn a finger... wait, I don't mean that.  Let's rephrase: encourage someone to try something new!  Treat someone to something they can't or won't buy for themselves.  But promise me you'll think outside the spa experience box.  Anyone can buy a year of pedicures; why don't you try one of these things below?

• iFLY indoor skydiving: These iFLY fly vertical wind tunnels are cropping up everywhere!  We saw one in Hollywood last summer; there's now one in the Bay Area, and in Utah, and perhaps in more areas.  In New Hampshire and Colorado, they're run by a company called "Sky Ventures."  Just imagine: the thrill of skydiving minus the plane and hurtling-at-the-ground-I-think-I'm-going-to-die component.  Skydivers train in these wind tunnels; and now they're available to the public to experience the freedom of flight over a (more or less) safe trampoline floor.  Packages (learning, a couple of flights, equipment use) start at around $50 for singles, $200 for families of 5. 

• Kayaking classes: If you're near an ocean or especially near an ocean bay or inlet, discover the magic of kayaking.  The Guv, Petunia and I have taken a couple of classes through L.L. Bean's Outdoor Discovery School, where a 2.5 hour session costs a mere $15 (including equipment).  Kayaking classes are available just about everywhere there's good water for it; in Half Moon Bay, CA, there's the Half Moon Bay Kayak Co., where lessons run about $45.  Where you live, it may be winter, but think spring: this is a gift that'll be anticipated long after the wrapping paper is recycled.  Even better, book the class for yourself and for a friend or family member: it's an experience of learning something new as well as sharing time, the most precious gift of all.

• Trail riding: One of Petunia's gifts next year, probably for Valentine's Day, is going to be a horseback trail ride through Seahorse Ranch at Half Moon Bay, where a 1.5 hour trail/beach ride goes for about $65.  For a girl who loves horses, a guy who always dreamed of being a cowboy, or for a newly-engaged couple to have a romantic experience, this is a great gift!  But if you're not in the Bay Area, this is still a great gift: there used to be stables Central Park that offered these rides as well as stables on Lana'i Hawaii for romantic sunset trips -- and, likely, they're everywhere in between if you google it.  This gift goes well with a bandanna and a cowgirl/cowboy hat!

• Cooking classes: I'm on a health kick, and, because of that, I've hired a 10 y.o sous-chef who has become expert at chopping veggies for stir-fry and salad.  For this reason, I'm thinking of enrolling us in some classes in the coming year to take our skills to a higher level (especially since cooking is a hobby that we both enjoy).  Most Williams-Sonoma stores have both free in-store demos as well as pay-to-go technique and cooking classes.  The same is true at many Sur La Table stores, Whole Foods markets, Draeger's (Bay Area), and high-end cooking and grocery stores.  I think this is a perfect gift for parent-child pairs who are of that age where communication becomes weird (I'm thinking junior high/high school), especially if the child has expressed an interest in being in the kitchen.  Sharing a hobby and meal prep brings about some deep and great conversations in my house.  Think about it: close proximity, different tasks, co-presence without the stare-downs -- that all leads to some great chit-chat and togetherness. 

• Memberships: When a friend of a friend moved to our area of Vermont, our common friend wanted to give her a going-away gift that might be useful in her new area.  My suggestion was the gift of membership to this awesome local kids' science museum, and it was an incredibly well-received gift.  Our family joins a lot of these types of places -- science museums, children's museums, aquariums, natural history museums -- and find that they never grow old and that we always reap rewards in spades.  Especially for young families who might not want to put financial resources into a membership, this is a great way for them to be able to have one and, thus, to get out of the house.  If you want to be Grandparent of the Year, find an amusement park close to where your grandkids live (we're near a Six Flags park), and, with the parents' blessing, get the family a membership.  When your grandkid is half a country away whining that they're bored, Mom'll have an outlet for that!

• Tours: Out here in NorCal, there are a whole lot of fun tours for families: things like the Roaring Camp Railroads through the redwood forest and/or to the beach and the Wine Train come to mind; there's also the Jelly Belly factory and Alcatraz.  I have to confess that I'm appalled at the number of NorCal residents who've never been to Alcatraz; the tour is incredible, and the gardens would amaze some of my green-thumb friends who turn up their noses at "tourist traps."  For a family new to an area, or for one who just hasn't yet been there/done that, a tour is a great gift -- especially if the giver shares in the experience.  I've mentioned ones specific to my region, but, chances are, you live near a tour worth taking: an ice cream factory, a river cruise, a whale-watch, a natural wonder, a national park... think about how to turn one of those tours into the gift of an experience!

• Concerts: When we were newlyweds in Boston, the Guv and I held and greatly enjoyed tickets to the symphony and, occasionally, to the Boston Pops.  These days, memberships are purchasable and giftable; and so are Ticketmaster gift cards -- something as appropriate, in my book, to gift to an 18 or an 80 year-old (well, presuming they can still hear; remember, if it's too loud, you're too old!).  If you know someone who needs a date night, how about a restaurant gift card plus concert tickets?  The same goes for plays, movie theaters, comedy clubs, etc. ... chances are, you know someone who could use a little entertainment.  Give them that experience, and they'll remember that Sting sang "Roxanne" to them because of you.

Next up: Part Five: Gifts for Play Experiences (Toys Parents Won't Hate)

Cross-posted on Good Stuff Rox

 

Holiday Gift Guide, Part Three: Gifts of In-Home Experiences

Pssst: Win a Christmas movie!  Enter here at Good Stuff Rox.

What makes for a good in-home experience -- and how do you turn that into a gift?  In this installment of my holiday gift guide for 2010, I'm going to give you some ideas for how to give a gift that will become an experience, which, if you're lucky, will become a tradition leading to memories that will always come back to you, the giver who launched something special.

Whose best memories don't involve food?  Perhaps it's because my huge, extended family gathered a lot and ate traditional foods that a lot of my memories have a flavor.  Eating my great-grandma's potato soup while playing cards, savoring my grandma's all-homemade (even the noodles!) spaghetti and meatballs on a Sunday after church, experiencing my half-Polish husband's native cuisine at a church in Green Point (pierogi I'll never forget!), and even my lemon wedding cake -- these taste experiences flood me with memories of connectedness, togetherness and happy times. 

Beyond cooking- and eating-related gifts, there are home-related gifts like art and home decor that, if you know your recipient well, will become family treasures fast. 

And lastly, during this economy, there are ways to focus on gifts for in-home experiences so that, instead of hearing "we can't afford to go out," the refrain will be "hooray! a night in!"  That's the point of these ideas, shared below, in a bit different format where the experience, rather than the gift, is labelled.

Ahhh, breakfast in bed.  Nothing says "love" to me like the gift of sleeping in and/or being encouraged to stay in bed.  Unfortunately, this is usually only a twice-a-year gift for me: Mother's Day and my birthday.  This year, inspire more breakfasts in bed with the gift of tools to make it more often.  My favorite breakfast delight discovery this year is ebelskiver, little stuffed Danish pancake balls.  With the right pan, mix, and even a cookbook, this can make for a lot of morning fun!  But be forewarned: if you're a husband giving this to a wife, accompany it with the promise to use it to cook for her (rather than the expectation that she delight you!).  If you're making breakfast in bed for the one you love, bring it in with the newspaper, TV remote, a new book, or a stack of drugstore magazines; then take the kids out of the house and let the recipient enjoy!

Lunch?  Who has time for lunch?  I need a work-out!  I'm super-guilty of missing lunch all too often, so, actually, this gift is about the lunch hour.  Especially on days when I can't hit the gym, lunchtime is when I take my bike for a spin, walk around the neighborhood, or even play Wii Fit Plus to get warmed up -- then I always, always, always use my free weights and do my core exercises.  Now, this is tricky, because if you gift weights and exercise videos to your spouse, it won't be well-received -- unless, like 99.8% of American women, she's declared herself a New Year's dieter.  Make sure you preface your gift with a notice: "In support of your New Year's goal, here are some tools to kick off your new regimen..."  Or, better yet, discuss it first and get the okay.  (The Guv has asked me for the go-ahead to buy himself an elliptical trainer for Christmas, so I know how it goes!)  I use these free weights from WalMart (cheap doesn't matter -- they work!), one of my kids' jump ropes sometimes, and my stairs for tricep dips and push-ups.  I stretch to a Trudie Styler Warrior Yoga video, or do mat pilates on my Gaiam mat.  Want to be a real hero?  Give the gift of a gift card or, if you're brave, actual workout clothing from Lululemon.  The Guv likes my Lulu workout clothes so much that I have an "unlimited" budget there (and he never ever uses words like "unlimited!").

What's for dinner?  This year, I've fallen in love with my crockpot all over again.  With soccer four days a week plus at least once on the weekend, I'm often walking in my front door at 7 pm with two famished kids, and dinner has to be instant.  This cookbook -- Make It Fast, Cook It Slow -- revolutionized my use of the crockpot.  I have an inexpensive model, but even All-Clad makes these amazing devices if you want to go high-end.  Want to funk it up?  A foodie friend just ordered this book of Indian slow cooking.  A cookbook and a crockpot is a perfect gift for just about any friend, from the single working woman who likes to cook and eat well to the soccer mom or single dad. 

And how about some dessert?  I seriously don't know if I could live without my ice cream maker.  Pair this gift with ice cream bowls, the perfect scoop, and an ice cream cookbook, and you have a party waiting to happen!  Want to go retro?  There are ice cream balls and old-fashioned crank machines also.  This is a great gift from grandparents to young families.  The bonus of it -- and why I can't live without mine -- is that I can control the ingredients, fat, and sugar content.  My kids love sorbet from this, whereas they'd never order it in an ice cream shop; making it themselves is a big draw.

Gifts for those who love to cook: I confess, I still use one non-stick pan.  It's my "egg" pan, and I can't seem to give it up.  But recently, I've made the commitment to switching over to cast iron, starting with this Made-in-the-USA Lodge wok as well as a couple of cast-iron skillets.  Perhaps Santa will bring me this cookbook, too, so that I can really get into the spirit!  If you know someone who loves to cook but hasn't gone the cast-iron route yet, gifts of these pans and a cookbook might inspire them to go down that path.  Meanwhile, while I'm figuring out what to do with the new pans, I'm going to focus on recreating a little gem salad I enjoy at new-favorite restaurant Marlowe, which requires shaving fennel, carrots, and several types of radish on a mandoline.  This is one of those tools that home cooks often lack but covet.  I have a million more home kitchen tool/gadget ideas, but let me just encourage you to think along these lines: what, and where, does the gift recipient love to eat?  If s/he has a favorite restaurant, does it have a cookbook you can gift?  Any unique ingredients?  How about gourmet salt or spices?  Anyone can give wine, but you could give the experience of a new ingredient -- how cool is that?!

Tableware that's good for the economy: Worried about the American economy?  How about buying American goods?  Like the Lodge cast-iron cookware mentioned above, Fiesta dinnerware is made in America, right down the street from where I grew up in northern West Virginia.  When you buy Fiesta, you're helping to employ folks in an area that's in need of some serious stimulus; and you're also picking up some classic American dishes that evoke timeless elegance on your table.  No matter what your decor, there's a Fiesta color to match; or, do like many WV natives do and mix-and-match these pieces that never go out of style.

Home decor: I have friends who love art, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars per painting; and I have friends for whom art is whatever their kids draw and stick to the wall with scotch tape.  For us, it's somewhere in the middle; we're more likely to find a print or another special memento during travels that we can then have framed and hang on the wall, but I also love displaying my kids' drawings.  These kids' art frames are on my wish list this year as a nice-looking, ready-made place in which to display their favorite pieces -- and for me, it's really about their favorite pieces, not what I think looks best.  It's quite an experience for them to have their own "gallery!"  Meanwhile, we're also looking for a canvas to hang over our bed, and I have my eye on this piece called "Reflect" from Modern Digital Canvas.  We have their eye-catching Tokyo piece in our mountain cottage, and it's our most complimented piece of art.  (We have some of these Andy Warhol prints there, too.)  Meanwhile, our favorite art to gift to others are Storypeople prints by Brian Andreas.  We've given a few of these prints as engagement and new home gifts, and we know that they're loved because people have decorated rooms to highlight them!  As with any art, though, you have to know the recipient well; if your friend is into French Country, they may not want to display a Storypeople print.  Most of our friends are into modern decor, into which these fit perfectly.

Monthly deliveries: For the gift recipient who has everything, monthly deliveries of treats might be the way to go.  I've given my parents Peet's "coffee tours" in the past, and they frequently gift my grandparents with Harry and David fruit of the month.  If you're more into the one-hit wonder gifts, try sending a coffee lover a sampling they might not have tried from a first-rate roaster, like Batdorf and Bronson (Dancing Goats), Blue Bottle, or my #1 favorite, Barefoot Roasters.  For older folks, I like to send gift baskets from Wolferman's full of English muffins, breakfast breads, and spreads.  1800baskets.com has some terrific gift baskets; I tasted a lot of their related Popcorn Factory treats at BlogHer this summer and would do just about anything for another popcorn ball right now! 

Next up: Part Four, Gifts of Family Experiences Away from Home (Memberships, Concerts, Tours, Thrills, and More)

Cross-posted on Good Stuff Rox

 

Holiday Gift Guide, Part Two: Gifts of In-Home Entertainment, Part C: Games

Pssst: Win a Christmas movie!  Enter here at Good Stuff Rox.

My very favorite thing to do with my school-aged kids these days is to play card games and board games.  Recently, I taught Petunia a card game called Spite and Malice that I used to play with my great-grandmother and my grandmother.  It warms my heart to share stories with her of how "pulling a great-grandma" means holding an ace in your hand when there's space to play it (which is against the rules), connecting her to a family member who died many years before her birth.  I can almost taste my great-grandma's homemade potato soup as we play these games.

I'd love to hear what your family's favorite games are.  Meanwhile, below, I've listed our family favorite card and board games, followed by a quick mention of some favorite DS and Wii games since we're a Nintendo-loving family. 

But first, I offer a reminder to think about enhancing family game night by packaging these with supplemental gifts to enhance the in-home play experience.  Food gifts, especially, are great for family game night.  We have a s'mores set that often comes out for these nights; fondue, popcorn, hot chocolate, and accessories to go with those are lots of fun!  What goes best with the gift of a game, though, is the gift of your time to play it with the recipient -- something that costs nothing to give but is, indeed, priceless.

Without further ado, here are my suggestions for games your family will love this year:

Card games:

• Set: If you don't have this game yet, you need it.  It's a Mensa game of visual perception that involves everyone playing at once -- no turns -- to deduce and to collect patterns.  I used to play this one for hours with friends in college.  This year, I asked Santa for the newest version of Set, Set Cubed, which combines the usual visual perception game with strategy for an enhanced gaming experience.  The Set card game is appropriate for about ages 8 and up (and adults will love it, too -- it's not just for kids!).

• Scrabble Slam: Petunia and I could play this one for hours.  It's a high-paced four-letter word card game in which players race to change words as they rid their hands of cards.  This game is appropriate for about 3rd grade and up, but, like Set, is great for adults, too.

• Blink: This is a fast game that's easy to learn; it involves each player racing to get rid of his/her cards by discarding matching card patterns.  Dash (age 5) can play this one (though he's slower than Petunia and me, which frustrates him); it's better for more equally-matched opponents, like Petunia and me.

• There's a Moose in the House: This game is billed for ages 8 and up, but Dash has played it with Petunia and me since age 4.  For 2-5 players, it's basically a silly twist on a matching game that's fun for the whole family.

• Slamwich: This is a game where speed wins.  You play to win sandwiches concocted of unlikely sets of ingredients -- somewhat unappetizing at times! -- while stopping thieves and munchers from stealing the game.  This game won a toy award and is billed as being great for reading readiness, as it involves visual discrimination, sequencing, and anticipation.  I can see it, so I gift it to a lot of kinder-aged families; I think it's probably best for 5-10 years or so, though parents can certainly join in the fun (and be defeated by smaller, faster hands!).

Board games:

• Qwirkle: Last spring, I heard Po Bronson talk about his latest tome, NurtureShock; and, in his talk, he mentioned that games like Set and Qwirkle, both already favorites on our shelves, are proven to increase children's IQ.  Score!  Petunia and I could play Qwirkle for hours.  Like Set, it's a visual perception game, but it combines that with elements of strategy as well as domino-type interweaving of tiles.  It's addictive!  Dash is starting to learn to play, so I'd say this game is great for about 1st grade and up; adults will enjoy it too.

• Chocolate Fix: This is a single-player game in which the player follows clues on a card to place pieces in the proper pattern.  Also mentioned by Po Bronson (as were the Rush Hour games), this game reminds me of timeless paper-and-pencil logic puzzles.  Petunia and I love it; Dash is a little young for it yet, so I'd say this is appropriate for about 3rd grade and up.

• Square Up: Dash received this is a 5th birthday gift, which is about the right age to start playing it.  It's a one- or two-player game in which players shake a cube of blocks (kind of like one side of a Rubik's cube), then compete with giant "slide puzzles" to get their pieces in the right order.  Petunia has taken it out to play with friends, and I've even challenged the Guv to a couple of races.  The game comes with two cubes to shake and two slide puzzles; it's a competition to finish whichever puzzle you shake, not a head-to-head battle, but it's fun enough that our family's picking up another set so that we can all four race the clock together.

• Clue Harry Potter: It's hard to improve on a classic, awesome game like the original Clue, but here, the Parker Brothers game company has delivered in spades.  The board is bigger and involves more rooms than the original plus has the added twist of wheels, spun on most turns, that open and close doors and invoke dark magic.  It's difficult to explain, but, basically, you should know that this game adds a couple of layers of complexity and takes more time than the orginal Clue; it also requires more players (at least 3).  Petunia at age 10 is barely old enough to have the patience for it but enjoys it a lot when we do play. 

• Blokus: Dash and I are Blokus addicts.  While the pieces are shaped like Tetris ones, the point of this game isn't to interconnect them but, rather, is to have them barely touch (corner-to-corner only) as you attempt to cover enough of the board that your opponent can't use his/her pieces.  For up to four players, it's harder with more people playing.  I love how it pushes Dash to think about spatial relations, and he can even beat me sometimes when he's quite focused.  This is a great sit-still-and-think game for ages 5 and up.

Nintendo DS Games:

• Anything from UbiSoft's Imagine series: Petunia right now is addicted to the Imagine games; she's added 4 to her Santa list already!  She has the boutique owner one and another fashion-related one (if I could find them in her room, I'd say which ... ahem, Santa is watching!).  The premise of these games is that the player is the teacher, zookeeper, fashion designer, babysitter, etc., designing and enacting experiences, keeping tabs on trends and unlocking codes to higher levels.  Most of these games are girl-oriented and probably best for about 3rd grade and up.

• Brain Age: Petunia received this game as a gift, and I thought she'd be unexcited about it; it's a "school" game in which math, reading, logic, and other puzzles are used to "train" one's brain through exercising it.  How wrong I was!  Petunia likes competing against herself to better her Brain Age, and she plays this game just as much as she plays her Mario ones.  Go figure!  This is a great holiday gift, keeping those math skills fresh over a long break. ; )

• Anything Mario: Whether New Super Mario Bros., Super Mario 64, or anything else Mario, these are the games that I play on Petunia's DS.  I love me some Mario!  The endless worlds, hidden areas, spectacular challenges, and fun just never stops with these games.   A Mario game is a must-buy with a child's first DS.

Nintendo Wii games:

• Animal Crossing: City Folk: A couple of years ago, Petunia and I attended a media event sponsored by Nintendo and tested this game; on the way home from the event, we stopped at Best Buy to purchase it, and we've loved it ever since.  This game never gets old.  It's a lot like a Sim City game in which you're building your own community, managing your own house, health, and wealth, and interacting with others.  Dash has been able to enjoy it since age 3, and the Guv enjoys the "turnip trade" ... This is by far our favorite family Wii game, as it has something for everyone.

• Playground: Our other most-played Wii game is Playground; paper airplanes and darts, especially, are mad-competitive around here.  These games are shorter and easier to keep Dash's attention.

• Rayman Raving Rabbids: This game is a whole lot of silly fun.  Gladiator dome?  Check!  Bunnies on the potty?  Check!  Flinging a cow through the air?  Got it!  OMG, we laugh so hard when we're playing this game!  I'm dying to pick up its newest version, Raving Rabbids Travel in Time, to see what crazy silliness is next on deck!

•  Wii Sports Resort: This game requires the new motion plus remote accessory, but boy, is it worth it.  We each have our favorites: Dash, swordfighting; the Guv, table tennis; Petunia, air sports; and me, wakeboarding.  Often, two of us will play real ping-pong while the other two take turns with this game -- an active, family-play evening!

• Wii Fit Plus: This game requires a balance board, which is tricky for Dash to use.  That said, Petunia, especially, gets a kick out of a lot of its games, especially kung fu, and I like that she gets some measurable exercise while she plays.  (Okay, it's not much -- but she's not sitting on the couch as she plays, either, which counts for something!)  I like the ski games quite a bit.

Next up: Part Three: Gifts of In-home Experiences (Cooking, Gift Clubs, Home Decor and More)

This is cross-posted on Good Stuff Rox.

Holiday Gift Guide, Part Two: Gifts of In-Home Entertainment, Part B: Movies, including a giveaway!

Pssst: At the end of this post, you can find a link to Good Stuff Rox, where I'm giving away three copies of a new Christmas movie!  See details below.

Movies are one of my favorite gifts to give and to receive, especially if they're good and can be watched over and over and over again.  I've been fortunate to review a host of movies this year for various companies, and that's always a fun task.  Oftentimes, on Friday nights, I pop a big bowl of popcorn, and the whole family snuggles up on the couch to watch (and to review) a movie.  It's a nice way to end a week of running around.  Below is my list of picks for this year's holidays.  When I've reviewed a movie or it's been suggested for inclusion in the guide, I've noted a disclaimer; I've also added in some of my all-time favorites.

Before I give you this year's gift picks, though, I offer the general suggestion of pairing your movie thoughtfully with a movie-inspired gift.  For example, if you're gifting Slumdog Millionaire (one of my favorites, mentioned below), think about pairing it with chai and chai cups, and Indian cookbook, or takeout.  Remember Lucy's chocolate factory scene?  How about pairing the Lucy series with a big box of chocolates?  The movie "Date Night" (also referenced below) is an awesome gift paired with a date-night kit: Baker's chocolate fondue (in the supermarket baking aisle - ready to go, just microwave!), candles, wine... Think about the movie you're gifting and what might go well with it to create a special gift of in-home entertainment this year.

Without further ado, here are my suggested movie gifts this year:

Adult films and TV series:

• Date Night: Over the summer, I reviewed this movie for Fox, and, though far-fetched, it's pretty darned funny -- how could it not be with Tina Fey and Steve Carell?!  It's the story of some "old marrieds" trying to break the mold and how far afield their attempt at "something different" went.  This is the perfect movie to give to some "old marrieds" along with a "rekindling" gift basket.

• Slumdog Millionaire: It's a movie from 2008, but it's on racks at the "big box" stores for around $5 this year and is one of my favorite films.  I picked up a copy to watch again and to lend to friends who haven't seen it.  About a kid from the slums who competes on India's version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" and the life that surrounds him, its a story of hope, and love, and loss that sticks with you for a long, long time. 

• Modern Family: The Guv and I are having a blast reviewing the Modern Family TV series, which I recently gave away on this blog.  It's a fantastic comedy show about a family that puts the "fun" in "dysfunctional."  I don't think it's a show for kids (maybe teens and up), but it's great to curl up on the couch and watch with your spouse.  Season One is out on DVD, and Season Two is airing now on ABC.

Family films and TV series:

• Avatar: I reviewed this movie for Fox early in the summer, and it's one of my all-time favorites; it's a prolific commentary on the environment and on how we treat those different from us.  It is not appropriate for very young children but is probably fine for about 4th grade and up.  Petunia cites it as her favorite movie, as it would be for any extremely empathetic, environmentally-engaged person. The extended collector's edition just came out last month on DVD and Blu-ray.

• Marmaduke: Our family reviewed Marmaduke for Fox this fall, and it's another of Petunia's favorite movies -- so much so that she chose to air it at her 10th birthday sleepover.  It's a great tale of how dogs (and people) can struggle but still overcome obstacles to end up in a happy place.  It's appropriate for all ages.  Other favorite dog movies: The Beethoven Pooch Pack, The Adventures of Milo & Otis, and Santa Buddies (and so many more...).

• The Garfield Show: Odie-Oh!*: Petunia's my dog lover, and Dash is my cat lover; sadly for him, cat allergies run in my extended family, so, while we have a dog, Dash's cats have to be on DVD or in books or stuffed animal form!  We received a copy of The Garfield Show for review, and he didn't watch anything else for weeks -- just watched it over and over again, laughing non-stop at Garfield's, Odie's, and John Arbuckle's antics.  This show is currently airing on the Cartoon Network, and, surely, it'll never get old.  It started as a cartoon strip in 1978 and just keeps getting better in its new incarnations!  This is appropriate for all ages, especially for families where the parents grew up with Garfield, like I did.  Other favorite cat movies: The Adventures of Milo & Otis and The Cat in the Hat TV series.

• The Sound of Music 45th Anniversary Edition*: I've owned the original 1965 Sound of Music movie for years, so I was excited to review the updated anniversary edition for Fox to see how it might be made better -- and all I can say is "wow."  The way both picture and music have been updated (sounding fantastic through my surround-sound) is incredible!  There are sing-along and interactivity options that enhance the viewing experience -- fun for the whole family, especially for those of us who grew up with the movie and know all of the words to all of the songs to teach our kids!  In addition to the DVD, there is a whole collection available (I found it online at Costco) that includes a music box, a scrapbook, souvenir program, and more -- a great gift for the Julie Andrews fan in your life!

• Harriet the Spy: The Blog Wars*: Petunia reviewed this movie for me, and I'll be watching it with her over the holiday break.  She says that I'll love it because it's about two kinds of competition: a mean-girls' style popularity contest and a blogging contest.  She really enjoyed it, and, now, she wants to launch her own blog.  I like that it connected her with one of my favorite childhood characters, Harriet the Spy, and like that the movie updated Harriet for the modern age.  This is a great gift for a girl in 4th grade through middle school.

• The Andy Griffith Show 50th Anniversary: Best of Mayberry Collection*: (Not yet released: Coming 12/21)  One of my favorite songs these days is "Mayberry" by Rascal Flatts, hearkening back to the times when we all knew how to slow down, knew our neighbors and appreciated small-town life.  I'm now in a more urban setting, far from my roots in the West Virginian countryside -- and now, more than ever, I want to watch shows like Andy Griffith, especially with my kids, so that they can get a taste of what life in fictitious (but real to me) Mayberry might've been like.  Plus, this show is funny!  I think this is a great gift both for grandparents who watched the show way-back-when and also for any family who seeks an alternative to modern shows like iCarly ... about as far removed from Mayberry as one can get.

• Toy Story 3: Frankly, it feels silly to recommend this movie; everyone knows of the success of the Toy Story franchise.  This movie, like the first two, is simply great.  My kids have watched the first two about a hundred times a piece -- and even Petunia, who's 10, isn't tired of it.  If you haven't gone down the Toy Story path yet, pick up the trio and some of the classic toys from the movie (Potato Head, slinky dog, and more!). 

Holiday-themed films and TV shows:

• The Original Television Christmas Classics: From 1969, this DVD set includes Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town, Frosty the Snowman, Frosty Returns, and the Little Drummer Boy.  I bought it a few years ago for my kids, and we all watch it over and over as the holidays approach.  Since I don't let them sit around and flip through channels, there's little chance of us catching these when they air on TV, so it's nice to have them handy.

• Christmas Treats*: This DVD included eight holiday-themed TV episodes from Happy Days, Cheers, the Lucy Show, the Beverley Hillbillies, and more.  I think it'd be great fun to have on hand for family viewing, especially as many of us will remember the episodes from different times in our lives.  This would make a great gift for grandparents!

• Christmas in Canaan*: This Hallmark Channel original movie, starring Billy Ray Cyrus, starts in 1964, where a conflict in Texas between two boys of different races launches a beautiful tale of how to find happiness and peace in life no matter what cards you're dealt.  We received a copy of this movie to review, and, though I was skeptical at first, our whole family (even the Guv!) agreed that this movie is a very special one, a reminder of "the reason for the season," so to speak.  We've watched it a couple of times since and enjoy it quite a bit.  For this reason, I'm sharing it with you! 

GIVEAWAY:

Viviendi Entertainment and RHI Entertainment have provided me with three copies of Christmas in Canaan to give away to my readers.  To enter, please leave a comment on my product review and giveaway site, Good Stuff Rox.  You'll get a bonus entry for sharing your favorite holiday movie, and another entry if you tweet this contest using the hashtag #goodstuffrox.  The deadline to enter is next Tuesday, December 7 at midnight PST; winners will be drawn and notified by noon the following day and must respond by end of day on Thursday, December 9 to claim their movies, else other winners will be chosen.  Good luck!  And remember: comments are welcome here, but the only eligible entries into the giveaway must be made on Good Stuff Rox! 

* All movies marked with an asterik (*) were suggested by companies for inclusion in my gift guide.  While I accepted the suggestion, I've only received review copies where noted; and I've included them of my own free will because I do believe they'd make good gifts.  I have not been compensated otherwise for their inclusion in my list.  Most of my reviews come about through my relationship with Bender/Helper Impact.  I'm grateful to them for the opportunities they send my way!

P.S. As always, I promote Blog With Integrity.

Next up: Holiday Gift Guide, Part Two: Gifts of In-Home Entertainment, Part C: Games.

Cross-posted on Good Stuff Rox

Holiday Gift Guide, Part Two: Gifts of In-Home Entertainment, Part A: Books

In this gift guide "In-Home Entertainment" entry, I'm covering books, from my favorite adult reads to cookbooks and kids' books, plus some extra "gifts for readers" at the end.  I've been an active participant in the (now-defunct) Silicon Valley Moms Blog book club, many members from which are, like me, now participating in the From Left to Write book club and, through that, have been fortunate to be exposed to some fantastic reads that we might not otherwise choose.  I'm also a member of an offline book club, where discussing books among friends in real life never gets old.  (Yes, I'm a bookaholic!)  This list below includes some books from and some beyond the purview of my blogging "work."  It's all noted with disclaimers where appropriate.  I've also added a parenthetical note with suggested gift ideas to pair with the book.  Enjoy!

Adult Fiction:

• Girl in Translation by Jeanne Kwok (reviewed for Silicon Valley Moms Group book club): One of the best fiction books I've ever read, this book is practically the author's memoir, even though she bills it as fiction -- a coming-of-age immigrant tale exposing the lives of sweatshop workers and, in the case of this book, their first-generation American children. (Gift idea: Support the end of sweatshops in America by purchasing some items from American Apparel: gloves, scarves, hats, etc.)

• Following Polly by Karen Bergreen (reviewed for From Left to Write book club): This is a debut mystery novel by a former lawyer and stand-up comic, and, as such, it's refreshingly funny and quite different from my usual mystery reads; I look forward to Bergreen's next work!  (Gift idea: a whoopie cushion?!  I'm only half-kidding ... this is a tough one to pair, so how about reading snacks, a book light, tea, vodka?)

• The Good Daughters by Joyce Maynard: My (offline) book group chose this book to read this month, and I whipped through it in two days because it was that gripping.  A story of two girls born on the same day in the same New Hampshire hospital, the intertwining of the two families' lives and the way those lives are chronicled over a large expanse of time makes you feel like you're part of their lives by the end of the magnificent tale.  I'm planning to read some of Maynard's other works soon.  (Gift idea: This one has a lot to do with farming, especially goat cheese and strawberries ... add some crackers and some apple cider for a fantastic seasonal treat!)

• A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore: My dad, a retired college English professor, suggested that I read this book, and I'm quite glad that he did.  It's the story of a midwestern college student who works as a nanny for a toddler, and the twists that this book takes are mind-boggling.  What will keep me reading Moore's stories is her unbelievable writing style: witty, wry, and descriptive in both light and dark ways.  Like "The Good Daughters," above, you'll think about this book months after you've read it. (Gift idea: soup and crackers... it's a book that calls for comfort food!)

Adult NonFiction:

• The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine PhD: The subtitle of this book is "How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids" -- and I feel that's almost all that needs to be said about the book.  Every single parent I know, especially here in Silicon Valley, needs to read this book.  Every. Single. One.  (Gift idea: Pair this with something to encourage a family to spend time together: something like an Apples-to-Apples game, or an American Girl family quiz book.)

• the possibility of everything by Hope Edelman (reviewed for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog book club) - This book is just plain lovely; it's a lovely travelogue of Belize, and it's a lovely tale of natural medicine and parental love.  It's very unlike anything I've read to date.  (Gift idea: a trip to Belize?!  I wish!  Tropical fruit, perhaps...)

Cookbooks:

• The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman (reviewed for the From Left to Write book club): By the co-founder of Earthbound Farm, this cookbook raises your environmental consciousness with its focus on sustainable agriculture -- and marries those concerns with fantastic recipes that are good for you.  The granola clusters are addictive!  (Gift idea: bake granola clusters and gift them with the book.)

• The Gluten-Free Almond Flour Cookbook by Elana Amsterdam: I purchased this cookbook because I'm wheat-allergic and am always searching for good baking alternatives.  I've found the answer in almond flour.  While I have some other alternative cookbooks, like babycakes by Erin McKenna, the recipes involving alternate flours are often high-maintenance and involve a precarious balance of chemistry.  Not so with almond flour!  In fact, I find it easier to work with than wheat -- and its health benefits far exceed any other flour.  Gluten-free or not, this is a can't-miss cookbook.  (Gift idea: almond flour, to get the baker started.)

• Fanny at Chez Panisse by Alice Waters: Oh, how I love this kids' cookbook!  Written from the perspective of Alice Waters' daughter Fanny at age 7, it's divided in a most peculiar way (you'll see when you pick it up!), and the tales interwoven with the recipes are as delicious as the suggested menus.  I love the Moosewood cookbooks for children, but, as far as the interweaving of recipes with stories, this one really takes the cake.  It's great for kids from about ages 8-13, especially girls who'll identify with Fanny.

Kids' books:

• Redwoods by Jason Chin: This book is appropriate for the elementary school-aged set and is primarily a primer on redwoods, experienced through a young boy's eyes after his discovery of a book on these magnificent trees.  A lot of people will be receiving this one from me as a baby gift!  (Gift idea: a donation to plant a tree through the Save the Redwoods League.)

• The Visual Dictionary of Star Wars by David Reynolds: When Petunia was 5, she went through a Star Wars phase, dressing as Princess Leia for Halloween; now that Dash is five, he dresseed as a Clone Wars ARF trooper for Halloween, and we're back on Tattoine/Endor/the Death Star.  Dash is getting this book for Christmas because it's everything about everything in movies 4-6, the most young-kid friendly of the six movies. (Gift idea: a Jedi robe)

•  the Magic Tree House series of books by Mary Pope Osborne: I read these with Petunia, and now Dash and I are reading them together -- and the tales never get old!  The brother and sister pair, Jack and Annie, go on fantastic adventures with books via a magic tree house, and, though fiction, the tales expose the characters and the "real" children reading them to some fantastic historically-based tales.  My kids have learned about Egypt, tornadoes, dinosaurs, and a whole host of other things from these books -- and any fiction that piques their curiosity to to further exploring of subject matter is a big WIN to this mom!

• The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart: This book, appropriate for kids about 9-13 or so, is one of the best I've ever read, and Petunia agrees.  It's a tale of mystery and adventure that rivals Harry Potter, sans the dementors and spells.  There are two (maybe more by now) subsequent books in this burgeoning series, all as fantastic as the first, per Petunia, who says it's perfect for both boys and girls. 

Gifts for Readers:

• A Kindle or any kind of e-reader: Whether a Kindle, a Nook, an iPad, or whatever, these devices are an answer to an avid reader's prayer.  My parents bought me a Kindle a couple of years ago, and I'm not sure how I'd live without it now.  I love that I can download just one issue of a New Yorker at a discounted price (usually when my dad calls me and suggests an issue I'd like), as I can't keep up with a whole subscription; and I also love that I no longer need or want to leaf through People magazines at the doctor's office because I have something better that I want to read in my purse at all times.  You rarely see me without my Kindle being within arm's reach.  Living in Silicon Valley, I'm hoping that this is the year in which my library figures out a way to let me e-check out books on it ... probably not yet, but hey: the classic book downloads are mostly free while I'm waiting!

• A subscription to a writer's magazine: I don't know many avid readers who haven't thought of penning their own tome.  Why not get their creative juices flowing with a subscription to something like Writer's Digest?

• A book rest: Different from a lap desk, this pyramid book rest is a perfect gift for someone who enjoys reading in bed, whether on a Kindle or from a "real" book.  I don't read in bed when the Guv's around, but, when he's travelling for work, I retire when the kids do to cuddle up with my book -- my treat to myself after a long day of single-parenting!  Now if only this pillow had a holder for my wine glass...

• Flowering tea: I know few bookaholics who don't enjoy a good cup of tea with their tomes, and this flowering tea gift set from Numi is a very special cuppa indeed ... with its glass teapot and spectacular display as it brews, it's one of those things that you'd probably never buy for yourself but greatly enjoy as a special treat.  I gave this set to one of my BFFs this year for her birthday.

 P.S. Here are the books I'm asking Santa for this year:

• Freedom by Jonathan Franzen: I read and enjoyed his book The Corrections, so I'm looking forward to another of Franzen's dysfunctional family tales.

• Tepper Isn't Going Out by Calvin Trillin: I learned of this novel during a holiday book swap (which included sampling three varieties of soup -- a great idea for a party!), and it's supposed to be very funny -- a thin novel built around the quest to secure an urban parking space.  I love me some good New York comedy!

• Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo: Yeah, so I like novels ... anyway, in the same book swap, I learned of this book, a "spiritual road-trip" (as well as a real one) in which the protagonist's New Age sister introduces him to her guru.  It seems like it might be a Kerouac knock-off, but it had me at "Buddha" in the title ... so I'll check it out.

Next up: Holiday Gift Guide, Part Two: Gifts of In-Home Entertainment, Part B: Movies -- with a giveaway, times three!

Cross-posted on Good Stuff Rox

 

Santa's annual dilemma

I have to admit that I get pretty annoyed when I see people putting up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving.  It makes me sad that some folks value the look of a plastic Santa more than that of a beautiful cornucopia reflecting America's bountiful blessings.  (Yeah, I know -- bah, humbug -- at least until Nov. 26!)  I really like slowing down and taking this month just to be thankful, celebrating the colors of autumn and the taste of pumpkin pie.  And I find it pretty hard to be in a fall mood whenever I walk past a neighbor's fake snowman. But...

That said, I have to think about Christmas earlier than I'd like to this year, as the kids are out of school a week before the holiday, leaving not a lot of time after Thanksgiving to get things together -- especially if anything is being shipped.

And so, what will be in Santa's bag?

My kids' wish lists this year aren't too out of control: They asked for a Playmobil schoolhouse and its accessories as a shared toy; since they still enjoy playing Playmobil together a lot, it's a reasonable request.  Petunia wants a beginner's sewing machine and fabric (and, Mama adds, lessons), some Nintendo DS games, some Lego board games, and some drawing books.  Dash wants a Nintendo DS, some Star Wars costumes, some Star Wars Legos, and about a million more Star Wars-related thing.  But that first thing on the list, the DS?  That's the part on which I'm stuck.

The little guy is only 5 and in kindergarten, and he has a Leapster: a Leapster with which he's been very happy, when he can find its cartridges.  And helllllooooo, DS cartridges are about a tenth of the size of a Leapster one!  HOW could I give him a DS (or okay Santa to do so) when he already has a Leapster which he can't keep track of half of the time?  But there's that big sister with the DS (which, by the way, she got at the end of her first year of kindergarten -- and still has the same one nearly 5 years later), and she's probably going to get some DS games, highlighting, to him, perhaps, the fact that he does not have his own.

I've wracked my brain about it, and I really don't feel right about giving him (or Santa giving him) a DS at this point.  I love the idea of giving them fun, complex toys, especially ones they share, because we probably only have another year ahead in which they'll do that.  Playmobil, Legos, board games -- all of those things are great, all full of hours of fun.  And if Dash gets a DS, that may take away from some of that other great play.  I've never been against "screen time," but he's only 5 once, right?  And with a big sister headed to middle school next year, how many years of shared Playmobil and Lego fun do they have left?

It's hard because I hate that he won't get what he wants most ... he's a good kid!  Then again, his birthday is in March, so we have another opportunity if it turns out to be a really big deal.  Do you think I can distract him with something like a remote control R2D2? 

Santa's glad this is only an annual dilemma.

Holiday Gift Guide: Coming Soon!

This year, I'll be releasing my Holiday Gift Guide throughout the next few weeks, including some fun giveaways to keep things exciting.  The guide will be pubished both here and on my Good Stuff Rox blog; all of the giveaways will be on the Good Stuff Rox site.   The guide will be broken into sections based on one main theme: experiences.  As my house fills with too much "stuff," I'm reminded all the more that the best stuff of life actually isn't stuff at all.  I'd take a day with my family at the beach over a new outfit anyday!  Time is precious, and, when the economy is, well, like it is, creativity is key when gifting at the holidays.  But also because of the economy, it's important to remember that charitable donations are suffering more than ever.  That's why I'll be incorporating a lot of "gifts that keep on giving" into my guide this year.

Here's what to expect in the coming couple of weeks:

Part One: Gifts for a Cause (Charitable Giving with Tangible Reminders)

Part Two: Gifts of In-home Entertainment (Books, Movies, and Games)

Part Three: Gifts of In-home Experiences (Cooking, Gift Clubs, Home Decor and More)

Part Four: Gifts of Family Experiences Away from Home (Memberships, Concerts, Tours, Thrills, and More)

Part Five: Gifts for Play Experiences (Toys Parents Won't Hate)

Part Six: Gifts of Experiences reflecting Gratitude  (For Teachers, Coaches, and Others)

... and maybe more.  Stay tuned!

Is it January yet?

I have a confession to make: I'm feeling a little crabby about this whole "Christmas season" thing.  Perhaps it's the decorations that go on display in stores around Halloween -- or, in our neighbor's case, the very day after Halloween -- but I feel like it's been "the season" forever.  Like, enough, already... isn't it January yet?

Compounding my "bah, humbug" mood is my four year-old Dash, who has never, ever believed in Santa Claus.  He refuses to acknowledge Santa's existence, and, if we see one at a mall, you wouldn't believe what happens.  The kid leers, jeers and sneers.  Once, Santa motioned to Dash, indicating he was welcome to have a seat on his lap.  Dash's response?  "MAMA, RUN!"  And he took off at a speed that's the envy of many a reindeer.  The Guv finally got to see The Santa Reaction and was awestruck.  Really, what kid doesn't want someone to bring him presents?  And isn't Santa a "jolly old soul?"

Not to Dash.  To Dash, he's "creepy and old."  I tried to tell Dash that we have some creepy oldsters in our family, too, and he said, "that's different.  They aren't strangers who try to come down my chimney and give me stuff.  They're allowed to give me presents.  Santa's not." 

How do we argue with that?

So this year, Mom and Dad are giving gifts, and Santa is coming only for Petunia.  He will have shipped her gifts priority mail since he's unwelcome near our chimney.  Keeping up this ruse of "no Santa allowed near our house" is important because Dash hasn't slept well pretty much since the neighbors put their Christmas lights and decorations up the day after Halloween (yes, did I mention that date, November 1?).  His sleeplessness has everything to do with knowing that the creepy old man in the red suit lurks about until Christmas.  I'm pretty sure Dash'll be back to normal (well, as normal as Dash can be, anyway) on December 26.

In any event, I appreciate the e-mails from readers who enjoyed the first-ever Rox and Roll Holiday Gift Guides.  I never finished the one for "stuff that's not stuff" and apologize for that; that'll be next year's gift guide theme all-around.  And why didn't I finish it?  Did I mention I haven't slept since November 1?

So happy holidays to you and yours, and I'm leaving you with a present from a friend -- the very talented Wendi Aarons, a lovely blogger with whom I had the privilege of hanging out a bit at BlogHer last summer.  She wrote Tiger Woods' holiday letter for him, and it's just hysterical.  Read it here.

Have a very Merry Everything and a Happy 2010! - Rox

The Christmas that Almost Wasn't

 In hindsight, I should have anticipated that traveling to Vermont at Christmastime would be a lot of trouble.  Not only might snow be a factor, but airports and flights would be jam-packed.  Still, we planned to leave San Francisco, connecting through Newark, for Burlington, Vermont on Sunday, December 21; should any troubles arise, Christmas Eve would remain three days away.  Plenty of time, right?

Nerves getting the best of me, I called Continental Airlines about eight hours before our flight; since a Continental plane had just skidded off of a runway in Denver, my sensitivities were heightened.  Assured that they anticipated no delays, I went to sleep, preparing for a 4:30 a.m. wake up.  Kids dressed and ready to go out the door, I suggested that my husband (the Guv) do one last check on the flight status before we leave home.

Our flight, the first Newark-bound flight out of San Francisco that day, was cancelled.

Our angelic children waited patiently as the Guv, the highest level of frequent flier on Continental, called their priority line.  We were offered a rescheduled flight that would get us to Vermont at midnight on Christmas Eve – three, almost four, very long days later.  Stand-by wasn’t even an option; our flight was cancelled due to “weather,” we were told (though the worst of the New England storm had passed, puzzling us).  Nevertheless, a lot of passengers had been stranded in the day before us; we’d simply have to wait, we were told. 

“What if that flight gets cancelled?  Didn’t you tell Santa that we’ll be in Vermont?  And what if we’re delayed and in the air when Santa wants to come?  OUR TREE ISN’T EVEN UP YET!” our eight year-old daughter, who still believes in Santa, began to panic.

A few hours later, the Guv and I agreed that three-four days wasn’t going to work.  We’d rather be stuck in our California home for Christmas and leave yet later than be stuck in the air for the holiday.  I had told the Guv that I really wanted a white Christmas in Vermont, though, and he was hell-bent on making that happen.  Using his thickest charm, he called the priority line again. 

Suddenly, we were on a plane on the 23rd, first class, to Houston.  We could sleep for about six hours at an in-airport Marriott before catching an early flight to Newark on Christmas Eve.  My father-in-law would pick us up at noon, drive us to Hartford, Connecticut (the nearest place from which we could pick up a one-way rental car), and we’d be in Vermont by dinnertime on Christmas Eve, in plenty of time for putting up the tree in advance of Santa’s highly-anticipated arrival.

We’ll forget about the disparaging looks we got boarding our first-class flight to Houston with kids in tow nearly three hours late; the little angels went straight to sleep as instructed.  When we landed at 2:30 a.m., we walked over a quarter of a mile to the “in-airport” hotel, as the tram was shut down for the night.  Three hours of sleep later, the kids still had huge smiles pasted on their faces (and cowboy hats on their heads, accessories they had brought with them out of excitement over visiting Texas) as we sauntered back for our on-time flight to Newark, which was also seamless.  My father-in-law was there, and nearly seven --  SEVEN! – hours later, thanks to some through horrific freezing rain, we picked up our rental car in Hartford at 7 pm, after stopping at a grocery store just before it closed for the night to pick up supplies for a hasty, out-of-the-box Christmas Eve dinner…

Three hours later, just past 10 pm, we pulled into our driveway in Vermont.  We slapped up the artificial tree that we bought years ago for a Christmas in July party.  A very tired, but still smiling, Petunia, slapped on about ten ornaments as her dad wrapped some lights around.  I played Santa as Dad put the kids to bed.  We all woke up late (and still exhausted) on Christmas Day with a Charlie Brown tree, but no one cared.  Our vista was a forest of gorgeous white snow, Santa had come, and we were in for the day…

… until I realized that no grocery stores were open on Christmas Day, and we had almost no food in the house.

Twitter to the rescue!  Several non-Christian friends were tweeting about getting Asian food take-out for dinner, and the Guv remembered that there was a Japanese steakhouse in a nearby town.  A new family tradition, the Japanese Steakhouse Hibachi Christmas Day Dinner, was born.

The drama of our travels didn’t end there, but the memory is blurred by the sheer joy I felt watching my two kids, ages 3 and 8, ski together for the first time.  My lungs are full of fresh Green Mountain air, and my heart is full of happiness, as the Guv found a way to get us to our white Christmas – and, in the end, to one of our best family vacations ever.  I’m writing this post from the first class section of Continental, my favorite airline, on our way home.  The kids are still being angels, and I hope it lasts beyond our touchdown.   We have some thinking to do about next year… while I loved our white Christmas, and while we swore to the kids we’d always have Christmas in our Vermont home, I’m thinking that a white sand beach might serve as a good white Christmas substitute.  California-Hawaii flights aren’t often cancelled for weather, and I wouldn’t have to pack as many bulky things.  Santa can find us on the beach… right?